Showing posts with label UK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UK. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 September 2018

The Ballad of Alexander and Ruslan (Let's Do It)

With apologies to the late, great Victoria Wood.

        Alex and Ruslan sat one night.
        The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
             The wind was soft. The moon was up.
             Alex drained his vodka cup
        He licked his lips. He felt sublime.
        He switched off Dacha Gardening Time.
             Ruslan cringed in fear and dread
             As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it,
                  Do it while the mood is right!
                            I'm feeling
                            Exploring.
                  I've really got an appetite.
                  I'm on fire
                  With desire.
                 To see Salisbury's Cathedral's great big spire.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

             But he said:
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  I believe the weather's just not right.
                            This winter
                            It's sinister
                  Turns out it might snow tonight.
                  No timetable!
                  I'm unstable
                  I'd rather watch US Apprentice on the television.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

             So he said:
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it,
                  Get the train out there an boom!
                            Old Sarum,
                            Take care, um,
                  Don't on any ice go zoom.
                  This folly
                  Is jolly.
                  We not crash the plane like Buddy Holly.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

             But he said:
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  We haven't got the time of trains.
                            I'm older,
                            Feel colder.
                  If not snow what happens if it rains.
                 Your exploring:
                  Get's boring.
                  Russians in Salisbury will be left snoring.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

             So he said:
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it,
                  Go and take some Novichuk!
                            On some door.
                            We'll ignore
                  That's Russians live there bad luck.
                  Don't spray it
                  Why delay
                  Vlad will always find a way to deny it.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

             But he said:
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  I know I'd only get it wrong.
                            Drop bottle
                            Full throttle.
                  Someone innocent will come along.
                  Stop pressing.
                 No messing.
                  They might die as well and it'll turn depressing.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it,
                  Book to nights in London town,
                            Frenetic,
                            Poetic!
                  See the sights and lose your frown
                  To quote Lenin,
                  On bed linen,
                  To roll in gay abandon thinking its the London Hilton.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  A two day trip would just look strange.
                            Train travel
                            Will unravel.
                  Why didn't we just prearrange?
                  We journeyed.
                  Too hurried.
                  You know as well as I do snow is only flurried.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it
                  While I'm really GRU!
                            Dusputin'
                            Our Putin
                  Writen tourist tale will ring so true.
                  Live dreams
                  New scenes
                  Wear your baseball cap with your skinny jeans.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  I must refuse under duress
                            I feel silly.
                            It's too chilly
                  To go without me thermal vest.
                  Don't choose me.
                  Don't use me.
                  Donald Trump sent a note to say you must excuse me.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it!
                  I feel I absolutely must.
                            I won't exempt you,
                            Want to tempt you,
                  Want to drive you to Stonehenge.
                  No cautions,
                  Just standing stones!
                  Then buy some soup with those little croutons.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it.
                  It's really not my cup of tea.
                            I'm harassed,
                            Embarrassed.
                  I wish you hadn't picked on me.
                  No worries!
                  Why hurry.
                  The only girl I'm mad about's Edwina Currie.
                       I can't do it.
                       I can't do it tonight.

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it!
                  I already have the Novichuk.
                            Let's flyover.
                            Wear pullover.
                  We might even get some Blackpool rock.
                  Be mighty.
                  Not flighty.
                  Do it for the good of the people's party.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!

                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it!
                  I really want to feel so brave.
                            Let's go,
                            'Cause I know
                  To lose the beard you can just have:
                  Not delay,
                  What ya say?
                  Then we'll slap the "truth" on Russia Today.
                       Let's do it!
                       Let's do it tonight!.



Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Brexit is no Congestion Charge Boris

On the Today programme this morning Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson tried to compare being outside the EU with being part of different London Boroughs.

Firstly it was clear from his choice of boroughs Camden, Islington and Westminster that Boris has never lived south of the river and had to awkwardness of trying to get a black cab home. When drivers refuse to carry passengers "Sarf of the River". Although I did love the loophole I found of asking a driver to take me to Hampton Wick (North of the River) I could guarantee that the driver would come over Putney Bridge (to go south of the River) and head towards Kingston Bridge but I would ask to get out in Kingston near a taxi rank  to make it home.

Of course the connection Boris was making was about a frictionless congestion charge zone in a built up area to a border through often rural areas. Of course on that rural boundary it will not just be the vehicles crossing it that will need to be looked at but also what they are carrying. Boris after all is one of those advocating that when we leave the EU we also leave the customs union. So he is looking at a rural border where arms have been smuggled in the past as being controllable in the same way that London can read the number plates of every cars that has to go along a defined road in an urban environment.

Maybe Boris is looking at his other great enthusiasm the Olympics and will have a fleet of drones like at the PyeongChang opening ceremony patrolling the border to record every vehicle, person, cow and sheep that crosses the border between the roads.

Also while I joke about the Thames being a border in London in Belfast or Londonderry/Derry there are borders between communities. Belfast has its Peace Walls and the River Foyle is largely a divide with the West bank being predominantly Roman Catholic and nationalist and the East bank being largely Protestant and unionist. So Boris before you dare to compare London to the Irish situation look at a bit more history and present day rather just wiff waff on.

In conclusion to even attempt to compare the London Congestion Charge to Brexit is belittling the issues that the UK as a whole faces, but to seem to wipe out the Border issue in this way even more so. The fact that these comments came from the Foreign Secretary gives me no confidence that Britain's future post Brexit is in safe hands.

Saturday, 3 February 2018

Sammy it's not about scare stories but opportunities

I do love it when I get to school my one time Economics teacher Sammy Wilson especially when it is about economics. When I read that Sammy Wilson (my teacher for the final term of 1986-7) said Loyalists were applying for Irish passports due to Brexit scare stories I had to laugh.

Sammy should know all about cost benefit analysis especially when it comes to "opportunity cost". In economics this is the value of the next-highest-valued alternative use of that resource. In this case it the cost of time on travelling on holiday. Everyone born on the island of Ireland is entitled to apply for an Irish Passport and the Good Friday Agreement allows everyone in the Northern Ireland to identify as British, Irish or Both. So there is no need for loyalists to renounce their British citizenship to get and Irish Passport.

The other thing to look at then is what people in Northern Ireland use their passport for. As photographic ID to get on flights to the rest of the UK. The UK has promised that the UK/Ireland agreement on freedom of movement will not be changed post Brexit and neither have the Irish who also want a frictionless border.

Next there is holiday flights, most short haul locations that are popular would be in the EU so there is an potential opportunity benefit in being able to go through the EU passport holders queue rather than the non-EU queue. I once had to bring a group of largely non-EU residents into the country at Dover. I whizzed straight through but as the leader of the group hung around in case there was any issues with the members of the group, all but one of the other leaders also being non-EU. I was there long after the majority of EU passengers were safely on their way. Post Brexit going to Spain, Greece, Amsterdam of anywhere else will see more scrutiny of an UK passport or at least be in a queue with people who face more scrutiny no matter what the best outcome is.

Finally there is longer-haul flights and in recent times with the improved road to Dublin and the express bus from Belfast to Dublin Airport a lot more people in Northern Ireland will fly from Dublin to America that maybe catching a flight to London and transferring. So having an Irish passport at Dublin Airport would be a breeze.

Sammy Wilson, the DUP and their Conservative friends have yet to give firm answers as to what will happen post Brexit so many people are looking at it objectively. The costs of having an Irish passport instead of a British one are negligible in monetary terms, but the benefits in terms of time outweigh any additional cost. Therefore it is economically opportune to take up an Irish passport ahead of Brexit, if things aren't worse afterwards they can always get a British one when it is time to renew but that will be based on experience rather than promising utopia in all things post-Brexit. As no matter how much Sammy et al are in cloud cuckoo land about Brexit not everything will be as it is now.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Taking Control of What?

This morning Nigel Farage declared the 24th June our Independence Day. But what does that mean?

All though the campaign and indeed for the last 25 years against rising Euroscepticism I have said we need to be in the EU not outside it Now that we have stepped outside it may be sometime before some realise what is missing so here is some things that I have been pondering today.

1. Our EU deal won't be gold standard. The United Kingdom are about to become the first nation to use the Lisbon Treaty to walk away from the EU. Do we really think that a majority of the other 27 are going to want to see that repeated? Not bloody likely.

Indeed all through the campaign the Brexiteers have told us that leaving will have no affect on our ability to live, study, work or retire in Europe. It won't lead to increase costs and tariffs on our trade with the EU etc But there is no way the 27 remaining members of the EU are going to give us all the benefits that come with membership having walked away. If they did it would encourage other nations to walk away with a good deal and there would be no point of being in the EU at all. Farage said he wanted to bring down the EU, now the EU have the power in their hands to bring down the UK.

2. There is a sharp divide in components. The Kingdom in no longer United in Scotland every single local authority voted remain. Nicola Sturgeon had already said that a new Independence Referendum is on the table and Scotland had been assured by the No team that being part of the EU was only guaranteed if they voted against Independence in 2014. Being taken out of the EU "against their will" has changed the constitution question in Scotland and many who voted No may now feel that leaving the UK and negotiating to enter the EU before Brexit is final is now more attractive.

Then in Northern all of the areas next to our European land border, plus three of the four areas in Belfast and North Down all voted the remain In most of the others which are Unionist strongholds it wasn't a clear vote leave. The Northern Ireland Act itself is so enshrined in being part of the EU and its constitutions that it will need to be redrafted, and then reapproved by referendum. For many the easier option may be to ask a different question. To remain under those European protections by reuniting a nation state for the second time in EU history following on from German reunification.

Martin McGuinness the Deputy First Minister has said "The British government now has no democratic mandate to represent the views of the North in any future negotiations with the European Union and I do believe that there is a democratic imperative for a 'border poll' to be held."

3. London may lose its financial clout. The other region with a good vote Remain by a margin of 60-40 of course this is the financial centre, but a lot of the banks operate across borders and London is not just the UK financial centre but also a European one. Already some financial institutions had been relocation divisions within their organisation ahead of the poll to hedge against the result that came to be in the early hours. Others have intimated in the lead up to the poll that they will consider their position once the vote was known, so Nigel Farage's nice friends in banking may well be deserting him to head to Europe.

We have also already seen in the hours since the result became clear the pound fall to the worse level since 1985. I bigger single day drop in share prices that even Black Wednesday, which has a knock on effect to pension funds. Government bonds rating go from secure to negative. And a run on dollars and Euros, plus a upsurge in the price of gold (never a good sign as this is deemed security).

4. The EU want us out.... quickly. Within hours of David Cameron setting his own timetable for the separation to start in October the European Commission President Jean Claude Juncker has said, "Britons decided yesterday that they want to leave the European Union, so it doesn't make any sense to wait until October to try to negotiate the terms of their departure - I would like to get started immediately."

The leaders of the 27 nations are going ahead with a planned meeting on Tuesday, David Cameron was initially meant to be there to discuss the way forward, we are already outside of the room as far as decisions about our future are concerned.

So in conclusion. We have no control over the decision, may not have full control over all our united kingdoms, have lost control of our financial strength and now have lost control of the speed of divorce proceedings. And the first result is barely 24 hours old.

Friday, 6 August 2010

Sped Up Deportation Also a Moral Outrage

There are two types of foreigners in the UK system economic migrants and asylum seekers. Let's make that clear. The latter of those types are the most vulnerable.

Therefore it is with outrage that I see that there is a leaked document that is looking at the voluntary right to leave or deportation at some point in the following 2 months of families seeking asylum. The no time being given element brings to mind the harrowing images from France earlier this week.

When I was campaigning in the general election I was campaigning for treating asylum seekers as human beings. Not looking up their children behind bars, allowing them to seek employment while their cases were heard. These are people that for whatever reason have fled their country to seek refuge. Yes, our immigration services then have to vet them to ensure that their is a genuine need and a right to stay. Although under Labour many of the most needy cases were not treated with egality.

I'd like to think we live in a liberal state that looks out for the most needy. Treating asylum seekers and their families as little more than unwanted cargo is not the way to go about thinks.

The Liberal Democrats campaigned to end child detention, not by being Iranian about it* and simply getting rid of anyone in that category. There have to be better alternatives that allow the process to run its full and fair course, which also does away with the need to detain children.

I think the UK Border Agency better think it out again.

* The Iranian way to ensure there are no gays in the country is the kill any they find.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Not for Wool, or Fish, but for Oil, Latin America Stands Together

The last time the Union of the Provinces of the River Plate actually governed the Islas Malvinas was from 1820-1833, but they only installed a Governor for the Islands in 1829. Twenty eight years ago there was an long diplomatic negotiation which had been going on before on the 2 April the Argentine army invaded.

Therefore the fact that Hugo Chávez the Venuzuelan President and other Latin American leaders have back Argentina and are heading to the UN is a throw back to the 70s and early 80s. Chávez and Cristina Fernández de Kirchner the Argentine President wouldn't have been a main concern to the UK Citizens on the Falklands but when Brazil and Chile are also backing calls for a return of sovereignty. The fact is that in 1820 the Islands only became of interest to some men of the Union of the Provinces due to a French wreck on the shores. Even those early claimants were aware of a conflicting claim of Britain to the islands, whose garrison had departed in 1776 because of the American War of Independence.

Of course we long expected that more wars over oil and then war could erupt. Most people thought these would centre on the Middle East or Central Asia. Now it appears that the South Atlantic has come into play. One of the lest fought over units on a Risk board but an area of many incursions from Argentina over recent history.

Almost 30 years ago it was just a case of Argentina against the UK, although some other nations provided logistical support. This time it appears that the whole continent has reared it heads. Mind you last time it was mainly about sheep and the self determination of the people who shepherded those sheep, this time there is the inclusion of oil into the equation.

In 1983 the people of the Falklands were granted full British citizenship, though in 1989 there was a UN resolution passed for the two nations to discuss the sovereignty of the islands, though despite diplomatic relations being restored such talks have never taken place.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

A Cold Snap-Shot of the British Isles

The BBC have this pic from NASA showing us today. I notice bits of Ireland are still living up to the name the Emerald Isle.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Just What Diplomatic Message to Iran?

The number two from the British Tehran embassy yesterday attended the endorsement ceremony of President Ahmadinejad by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. This was the disputed election that Iran has also heavily accused Britain of leading the populist opposition against in June.



The FCO seem to think that sending the number two, Patrick Davies the deputy head of mission instead of the Ambassador Simon Glass was enough to show the regime that this was not business as usual, claiming that we need to talk to the regime about its nuclear programme, human rights and other issues. But others think it was too much, Menzies Campbell said:




"The Government has been vociferous on behalf of human rights and individual freedoms in Iran but at a time when a show trial is taking place it surely would have been prudent to preserve coolness and meet only the most perfunctory diplomatic niceties."




And shadow Foreign Secretary William Hague said:




"Under all the circumstances, representation at this event should have been kept at the minimum level possible. Other countries seem to have done that more effectively than the Foreign Office."




Although around the EU however the message was similarly confused. Sweden who currently hold the Presidency of the EU sent their Ambassador, France and Italy, one of Iran's biggest trading partners, like Britain sent their number two, whereas Germany sent one of their lowest ranking diplomats.



However, it was boycotted by Mir Hossein Mousavi and Mehdi Karoubi, the defeated candidates, and by the former presidents Mohammed Khatami and Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani. Also noticeable in their absence was any member of family of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini the leader of the 1979 revolution.



So it is possible to send a message more strongly, while keeping up the pretense of diplomacy? The FCO say they have yet to decide who to send the the swearing in ceremony on Wednesday, but seeing as Iran singled out eight local Embassy staff at the British mission during the protests against the election, which we protested, surely we have some case for not sending high ranking officials.



The current show trial that is going on at the same time as the swearing in process is continuing may not act as a suppressor of protest by as a stimulus for a continuance. The people are speaking and unlike the Star Trek episode where Gul Dukat says that the Cardassian people like to watch pre-determined 'justice' being enacted over and over again, the Iranian people may be smart enough to see that the trials going on are a mask to cover up the real issue of just what did go on between the people voting and the count being declared. Many are saying that is where the real crime took place, the crime is theft, distortion and fraud, not to mention of an undisclosed number who happened to disagree, and a few who were innocent.

Friday, 20 February 2009

Is it Time For Northern Irish Liberal Democracy?

Following the new that Labour are to organise in Northern Ireland, and seeing as the Ulster Unionists and Conservatives are treading carefully towards their allegiance, is is time to awake the electorally dormant but keen Northern Irish Liberal Democrats? And what does this mean for our sister party there the Alliance Party?

The Lib Dems in Northern Ireland have long taken the stance that they would not contest elections but lend support to the most prominent centrist party, which is the Alliance Party with their 7 Assembly Members and 32 councillors. David Ford and his group of elected representatives have long been fighting an uphill struggle where when facing oppression people tend to flock to the political extremes rather than to the centre. The consolidators and consensus viewpoint tends to get drowned out by clarion calls of "No!", "Never!" or whatever.

With the Good Friday agreement the mood at least for a while lifted and there was real hope for many of a change. But with the repetitive start stop start of devolution in Northern Ireland the old party divides became more entrenched to the extent that the DUP and Sinn Fein overtook the Ulster Unionists and SDLP respectively further polarising Northern Irish politics. Against such movement to the flanks the fact that the Alliance retained its group size in Stormont was a notable achievement. But other centrist groupings like the Northern Ireland Women's coalition lost out in both their MLAs.

But if the Tories and Labour are both serious about fighting future elections in Northern Ireland is it time for NI Lib Dems and the Alliance Party to formalise our bounds and stop merely living together?

What could the Lib Dems give to Northern Ireland? While the Tories will be ending up with a protestant party in Northern Ireland through its marriage with the Ulster Unionist the Alliance as with the working classes who may come to the Labour movement are spread across the divides. Indeed the temporary realignment of a couple of Alliance MLA's to get the qualified majority of a key piece of legislation during the first Assembly caused rather a stir. So the Lib Dems wouldn't enhance that message of reconciliation as both parties already abide by the liberty and freedoms of all. Indeed the Alliance peers do take the Lib Dem whip in the House of Lords already so there is already some quasi-formality in the arrangement.

What it would do would provide assistance, structure and experiences that would greatly enhance the ability of the centrist voice in Northern Ireland. From campaigning strategy to policy formation and following through to Government level in Scotland and Wales. Look (and listen) around you. Lembit Opik and Michael Moore are two MPs who both hail from Northern Ireland. Then there are activists, workers, councillors etc around the country who hail from there myself included. Many of us still have links with people 'back home' and take a keen interest in goings on in 'Norn Iron'. However, even if we return for a short spell we may have been put off from too active an involvement due to the underlying sectarianism of politics back home. But if the Northern Irish seats were to be contested by the three main UK parties plus of course Sinn Fein as the equivalent of the SNP in Scotland and Plaid Cymru in Wales the Lib Dems rather than the Alliance should be the name on the ballot papers alongside that of Labour and the Conservative and whatever Party.

One final thing on this issue as discussed with Lembit Opik outside the Glee Club at the spring 2005 Conference in Harrogate. If we do want to fight elections seriously there is Lembit going to stand in our home constituency of North Down and does he still want me to assist as an organiser or something?

Friday, 23 January 2009

Norway Beat Us to South Pole Again: Gratulerer


Gratulerer!*

In 1912 Norwegian Roald Amundsen's team beat the plucky Brits lead by Captain Robert Scott to be the first to the South Pole.




This year saw the inaugural Amundsen polar race and as 97 years ago it was Norway first but Britain second. Our team of James Cracknell, Ben Fogle and Dr Ed Coats even put in a final 27 non-stop hours on their skies but were still 20 hours behind the Norwegian team of Rune Malterud and Stian Aker. The winners reached the pole in just 17 days and 11 hours when the Brits were 31.8 miles (51km) away.




Unlike that first time when the gap was 35 days and the gap to other nationalities in getting to the pole even greater others, including South Africans and Irish, are still competing behind the polar pioneering nations.
*Trans from Norwegian: Congratulations.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

A Proud Place of Work or Several

The police force, banks and management consultants top the Stonewall equality index ahead of the public sector, the media and education.

The index which for the fifth year has ranked employers based on their impact of workplace culture on gay, lesbian and bisexual employees is as a key barometer of diversity practices across the UK. The index looks at how employees diversity policies and how they impact on recruitment applications comparing it with information of experiences gathered from the employees.

This year the study has grown to more than twice the size when it started surveying 7,000 lesbian and gay employees of 371 employers over 23 sectors. Seventeen separate police forces feature in the top 100, three in the top ten. While sectors like law and housing have improved considerably, the construction industry along with media and the NHS do particularly poorly. Indeed only one NHS Trust, Tower Hamlets, appears in the top 100.

However, for this fifth incarnation of the index the standard was made tougher than in the past as Stonewall also required proof of long-term effectiveness from entrants.

One encouraging statistic from the index is that 97% of the top 100 were organisations that had an organisation-wide equality and diversity strategy linking Lesbian Gay Bisexual equality into their wider organisational aims.

The Count Down of the Top 10

10. Home Office*
8. = Merseyside Police
8. = Manchester City Council
7. London Borough of Tower Hamlets
5. = Transport for London
5. = Nacro (last years no. 1)
4. Kent Police
3. Brighton and Hove City Council
2. Hampshire Police
1. Lloyds TSB

*I will reserve comment about other issues for now. (Will right a balance piece later)

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

News of British Days Death Premature

In the style of Mark Twain despite some Nats rejoicing, well ok I only found one if I don't count the BNP, that British Day is dead. It appears reports of its demise may be premature.

Of course sadly working in an international environment it is unlikely to affect me, directly as I will probably find that my bosses around the globe will still need their reporting to be done. Which is strange as I often have to be aware of national holidays elsewhere which will end up affecting result.

Monday, 28 July 2008

Has West Lothian Seceeded from the Union?

Interesting flag related goings on have come to my attention from outside West Lothian House, home of the SNP/Save St. Johns Hospital coalition led West Lothian Council.

Now there are five flag poles out side the council offices so it is not as if space is at a premium but it has been murmurs that the Union Flag has not been flying like it used to outside. Apparently the Provost Tom Kerr of the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party noticed that the Union Flag was not flying outside the offices, upon raising the issue with the other councillors it made a brief appearance before again disappearing from view.

The SNP love their symbolism, in fact all their vehicles in the recent Glasgow East by election proudly sported the Saltire. Indeed they almost had apoplexy when the Willie Rennie signs for the Dunfermline and West Fife by election contained a Saltaire. Now when the rules about flying the national flag all year round were introduced by Gordon Brown last year Scottish public buildings were except, allowed to fly the Saltire, for all but 18 days if they only had one flag pole. Although if two or more poles were present the the Union Flag should take precedence over the Saltire, therefore its absence at West Lothian House is something that needs to be answered. Do I need my passport to get to and from work from now on?