The Ballad of Alexander and Ruslan (Let's Do It)

With apologies to the late, great Victoria Wood.

Alex and Ruslan sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
     The wind was soft. The moon was up.
     Alex drained his vodka cup
He licked his lips. He felt sublime.
He switched off Dacha Gardening Time.
     Ruslan cringed in fear and dread
     As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it,
          Do it while the mood is right!
                    I'm feeling
                    Exploring.
          I've really got an appetite.
          I'm on fire
          With desire.
         To see Salisbury's Cathedral's great big spire.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

     But he said:
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          I believe the weather's just not right.
                    This winter
                    It's sinister
          Turns out it might snow tonight.
          No timetable!
          I'm unstable
          I'd rather watch US Apprentice on the television.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

     So he said:
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it,
          Get the train out there an boom!
                    Old Sarum,
                    Take care, um,
          Don't on any ice go zoom.
          This folly
          Is jolly.
          We not crash the plane like Buddy Holly.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

     But he said:
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          We haven't got the time of trains.
                    I'm older,
                    Feel colder.
          If not snow what happens if it rains.
         Your exploring:
          Get's boring.
          Russians in Salisbury will be left snoring.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

     So he said:
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it,
          Go and take some Novichuk!
                    On some door.
                    We'll ignore
          That's Russians live there bad luck.
          Don't spray it
          Why delay
          Vlad will always find a way to deny it.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

     But he said:
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          I know I'd only get it wrong.
                    Drop bottle
                    Full throttle.
          Someone innocent will come along.
          Stop pressing.
         No messing.
          They might die as well and it'll turn depressing.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it,
          Book to nights in London town,
                    Frenetic,
                    Poetic!
          See the sights and lose your frown
          To quote Lenin,
          On bed linen,
          To roll in gay abandon thinking its the London Hilton.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          A two day trip would just look strange.
                    Train travel
                    Will unravel.
          Why didn't we just prearrange?
          We journeyed.
          Too hurried.
          You know as well as I do snow is only flurried.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it
          While I'm really GRU!
                    Dusputin'
                    Our Putin
          Writen tourist tale will ring so true.
          Live dreams
          New scenes
          Wear your baseball cap with your skinny jeans.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          I must refuse under duress
                    I feel silly.
                    It's too chilly
          To go without me thermal vest.
          Don't choose me.
          Don't use me.
          Donald Trump sent a note to say you must excuse me.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it!
          I feel I absolutely must.
                    I won't exempt you,
                    Want to tempt you,
          Want to drive you to Stonehenge.
          No cautions,
          Just standing stones!
          Then buy some soup with those little croutons.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

               I can't do it.
               I can't do it.
          It's really not my cup of tea.
                    I'm harassed,
                    Embarrassed.
          I wish you hadn't picked on me.
          No worries!
          Why hurry.
          The only girl I'm mad about's Edwina Currie.
               I can't do it.
               I can't do it tonight.

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it!
          I already have the Novichuk.
                    Let's flyover.
                    Wear pullover.
          We might even get some Blackpool rock.
          Be mighty.
          Not flighty.
          Do it for the good of the people's party.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!

               Let's do it!
               Let's do it!
          I really want to feel so brave.
                    Let's go,
                    'Cause I know
          To lose the beard you can just have:
          Not delay,
          What ya say?
          Then we'll slap the "truth" on Russia Today.
               Let's do it!
               Let's do it tonight!.

Dear Mr Putin,

Thank you for not killing my fellow LGBT brothers, sisters and anyone in between. However, the fact that your state allows them to live and exist is not the same as being anti-gay.

Like your nation I come from a socially conservative part of the world, but here in Northern Ireland which only decriminalised homosexuality 10 years before Russia there are other protections to LGBT people which are lacking in your nation.

Firstly there are laws in place that prevent discrimination against LGBT folk in any area of live whether education, access to health service, their employment or accommodation. While I know that not everyone's experience in these areas in Northern Ireland is universally one of acceptance there is at least a fall back unto the rule of law. Indeed sexual orientation is one of the many areas that our public authorities have to promote equality of opportunity within:

75 Statutory duty on public authorities.

(1)A public authority shall in carrying out its functions relating to Northern Ireland have due regard to the need to promote equality of opportunity—

(a)between persons of different religious belief, political opinion, racial group, age, marital status or sexual orientation;

(b)between men and women generally;

(c)between persons with a disability and persons without;

and

(d)between persons with dependants and persons without.

By doing something like this you could eradicate the "fiction" and indeed the fact that LGBT people are being discriminated against, attacked and even killed with little action, protection or reaction from your police officers.

That equality of opportunity should allow them the right to meet in peace in a place they feel safe. Such as a night club or bar that caters for them and where they are not judged by other patrons. Such places exist near your Presidential Palace or your favourite resort town of Sochi.

That equality of opportunity also should allow those who are discovering their sexual orientation should be able to seek out advise on how to deal with this. Without the threat of those offering the counsel and advise of being arrested for providing that service. You call this propaganda to minors, I call that protection, advise and safety in how to live before the possibility of ruining it through lack of education.

That equality of opportunity also means that political leaders while talking about stereotypes on one hand talk about LGBT people as "other types of unconventional sexual behaviour" or "non-traditional sexual relations". That is something that I am still working on with one or two of the larger parties here in Northern Ireland as well as individuals within other major parties across Northern Ireland, USA and elsewhere. However, if you are genuine in how you have to "think of the future and improve our legislation" then the language that you use is a good place to start, so that those LGBT people do not feel that you are anti-gay, or associate them with pedophilia or beastiality.

#Principle6 is for all not just the Olympic Zone

The Sochi Olympics*

*Usual Terms and Conditions may or may not apply

While the Opening Ceremony was underway in Sochi this was the scene in Red Square, Moscow.


Principle 6 of the Olympic charter states:

Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement.

This is clear discrimination against people on the ground of otherwise. President Putin says people can be LGBT as long as they don't touch the children. I see no children in this video.

Thomas Bach in his opening speech last night said:

This is the Olympic Message the athletes spread to the host country and to the whole world. Yes, it is possible to strive even for the greatest victory with respect for the dignity of your competitors. Yes, Yes, it is possible - even as competitors - to live together under one roof in harmony, with tolerance and without any form of discrimination for whatever reason.

It was a part of the message that American broadcaster NBC is facing criticism for editing out.

Yes the host nation if it is abusing Principle 6 of the charter in incompatible with being part of the Olympic Movement. This is what was happening last night and it is time that IOC actually specified that otherwise does include sexual orientation and not leave it vague, and then take action.

Why Putin Leaving Kids Alone is Detrimental to LGBT Youth

We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control.

Hey Olympians, leave the kids alone!

Seems to be the cry that is repeated today by Russia's deputy prime minister.



However, with the anti-propagation law to minors in Russia and therefore actually leaving kids alone to come to terms with their own sexuality is a dangerous thing. Despite what Putin would have you believe kids under the age of consent are quite capable of coming to their own conclusions about who they are attracted to. Indeed I don't hear Russian authorities crying out about underage sex between people of the opposite sex but I'm sure like in every other nation this takes place.

But what is most worrying about the message to leave the kids alone is that during the teenage years before it is legal to have sex young people the world over pair up. They have boyfriends and girlfriends, that is part of a normal adolescence. But what if your boyfriend or girlfriend has the same gender as you, or what if the person you feel attracted to and want to ask out is of that same gender.

There is a problem you face under the new law. You can't seek advice about these feeling the adult giving that advise would be "promoting non-traditional sexual values". Now can you act upon those feelings and ask the other person, if they reject you they or their parents may report you for "promoting non-traditional sexual values" to a minor. You can't even be open about your sexual, as to be open in who you are and who you fancy is in itself a promotion.

By leaving such kids allow to wallow in aloneness while around them there is nobody they can turn to for advise, while their feelings are being condemned from on high as being non-traditional and non-Russian even leaves them in a vulnerable position.

While I was growing up in Northern Ireland while there was Section 28 in place and homosexuality had only recently been decriminalised there was no outright ban on talking to a young person about such things. It just could not be done in a school context. But when you don't grow up in the big city getting access to such services would have been awkward for a teenager. So like the fate of Russian teens I had to wallow alone, with religious and political leaders telling me that what I was feeling was wrong.

By leaving that kid more or less alone I contemplated taking my own live.

Leaving the kids alone, uneducated about human sexuality that is not across genders, and unable to seek advise about their feelings or even if they did being unable to receive it, Russia authorities are endangering those young people.

Article Three of the UN Convention on the Rights of a Child states:

"In all actions concerning children, whether undertaken by public or private social welfare institutions,courts of law, administrative authorities or legislative bodies, the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration."

Leaving children alone unable to seek guidance on feelings that they have is a thought control of an adverse type. It creates problems, fear, loneliness, paranoia and suicide. Not to mention the homophobia that others feel able to dish out against LGBT people as seen in The Hunted last night.

Dear Vlad, there are Gay criminals too

Now while most of the western world are aware of the corruption and sexual offenses that Silvio Berlusconi faces it seems bizarre that Russian President Vladimir Putin should jump to such an unusual defense of his friend:

"Berlusconi is on trial because he lives with women. If he was homosexual no one would have lifted a finger."

Now I have a lesson for Mr Putin, not every gay man, or lesbian woman or anyone who is bisexual or transgender is a law abiding citizen. Believe it or not these do face persecution based on the facts of the case just as any heterosexual would do. When the laws are equal and the charges have nothing to do about the person's sexuality the LGBT community expect justice to be carried out. It may be a case of domestic violence against a same-sex partner, or a fellow clubber. Or it may be corruption charges or grooming minors into sexual activity.

Not everyone is perfect, yet the law of the land should be equal to everyone no matter what their sexuality. However, what many nations believe is that when a nation, such as Russia, makes a law that criminalises someone merely on the grounds of their sexuality or by "promoting" it that is not fair, and people will raise fingers to prevent that happening.