Sharia Law: DUP Style

The DUP have a narrow view of the arts, I fully expect them to be up in arms about the play that I am writing.Currently we have the issue over The reduced Shakespeare Company.

They are due to bring The Bible: The Complete Word of God Abridged to Newtownabbey's Theatre at the Mill next week for a two day run. Now if anyone who has ever seen any of The Reduced Shakespeare Company productions know whether the bard himself, the history of America, all the books you need to read whatever will know that all these works are abridged dramatisations of the subject matter done in a light hearted way. However, they are also rather scholarly pieces of satire in that the writers have researched their source material and picked up on some of the obscure while at the same time presenting the familiar in a different way in order to cover everything in the 90 minutes that most of their shows last.

This show has been doing the rounds since 1995, I saw it in London. As someone who has been involved in Christian drama (where probably in the eyes of the DUP I have mocked the bible) who has dramatised some of the biblical stories in an accessible way I see no harm in what they did. When watching any of their shows (I believe I have seen five of them) the inquiring mind, such as mine, does ask more questions about parts of the production that they do highlight.

So if the DUP want to ban this production where was the outrage when a teenage me played a Welsh* vandal about to graffiti the walls of Jericho before they came down? Oh, hand on they were present when one of the church elders at the time, a DUP councillor objected to all drama in the church. Thankfully the church saw sense and used it as a tool.

However, if as the Free Presbyterian Minister Brian McClurg says it is unacceptably hurtful to some Christians in the area then they shouldn't go, just as what is preached maybe from their pulpits might be unacceptably hurtful to some members of society from time to time. However, as has been pointed out the show has been advertised for some time and only now with a week to go are the DUP looking at banning it from the stage, so there will be costs incurred both by the theatre and the touring company, so who is going to foot their bills and cancellation fees etc.

Update: The tweet from the Theatre at the Mill says that the show has been cancelled. In a year in which touring productions had failed to come to Northern Ireland due to economic reasons, cancelling shows due to other reasons cannot be great for Northern Irish theatres long term future.

* Yes during one week I played six roles in six different accents.

Say Hello to the Belfast cultural revolution

Update Please read the update at the bottom of this piece about information received since I wrote this.

The other day I was actually thinking over the possibility of keeping a track of the number of hetero-normative signs of affection I saw out in public and compared them to homosexual ones. Being back in Northern Ireland can do that to you.

The reason why you may ask was sparked by one straight couple having a great big snog right in front of a group of school children. Then yesterday in Starbucks I watched a couple in the window seat with her almost certainly checking where the edge of her husband/partner/lover's boxer/y-fronts/briefs/nothing came down to underneath his trousers.

When you are hearing people say that they don't want LGBT people forcing their lifestyle unto others you do start to notice how much the heterosexual 'norms' are welcomed as OK, but shows of same sex affection are driven largely underground for fear of the repercussions.

Thus it is with great sadness that I learn that the Royal Ulster Academy has removed a painting by Paul Walls called The Kiss* from its annual exhibition at the Ulster Museum. Colin Davidson from the RUA said that exhibitions are tailored for every age-group and as a result attract large numbers of schoolchildren across Northern Ireland.

He said: "In this context, the painting The Kiss, submitted by Paul Walls, could be regarded as inappropriate for child audiences."

So what is so inappropriate about a picture of a kiss. Well reading the Belfast Telegraph link it doesn't appear to have involved a nude. Though there are nudes or in a great state of undress paintings in the Ulster Museum collection. No the reason the picture is inappropriate appears to be because the two people kissing are female.

Again I am reminded that in Northern Ireland apart from one area of Belfast and a few isolated bars elsewhere. Or on one day of year in Belfast, Londonderry/Derry and Newry on Pride Parades LGBT people are fearful of showing any expression of affection because of what others may thing or say about them. Yet all around us are straight couples showing far more affection that a mere holding of hands of a quick peck.

It leads to the question would this The Kiss be acceptable in a Northern Irish art exhibition?

If not many great art museums must be out of range of Northern Irish young people as more nudes either in sculpture or paintings will be presented to them. If two fully clothed individuals kissing is not appropriate for children audiences then we certainly are doing something wrong. We are education the next generation of young people here to be wary of the unknown and potentially bigoted to it.

Then again my nine year old nephew still goes "Ewwww!" whenever anybody kisses in his presence, so maybe, just maybe it is because all children of a certain age just don't like to be exposed to kissing. Though I seriously doubt it.

Update 10 Oct 15:00

My friend Padráig Ó Tuama  also was upset about the story in the Belfast Telegraph about the removal of Paul Walls The Kiss from their exhibition. He said:

"Having heard about this, I wrote immediately to RUA. Colin Davidson, the president of RUA, wrote back to me within minutes. He is aghast at how his words have been misrepresented in the media. He said that the painting in question is of an adult nature, and that the decision has nothing to do with the gender of the individuals kissing. Given that school aged children come to the exhibition, they decided, together with the artist, not to include the picture because of the adult nature of the image - not because of the fact that it is two women kissing."

He received the following statement from Colin Davidson, President of the Royal Ulster Academy 

"The Royal Ulster Academy's schools programme attracts large numbers of school children from across Northern Ireland.

"In this context, the painting 'The Kiss', by Paul Walls, was regarded as inappropriate for child audiences (by the Museum, the Academy, and Child Protection lawyers, as well as most who have seen it). Paul Walls appreciates how inappropriate it is for child audiences. It would not matter if the imagery was of two women, two men, or a man and a woman. Mindful of artistic freedom of expression, the RUA and the Ulster Museum considered that the painting could remain in the exhibition subject to the placement of appropriate notices that the gallery contained artwork which could be regarded as being of an adult nature.

"As an Academy, we are concerned that this could deter schools and families with young children visiting the exhibition. As a result Paul Walls decided to withdraw the painting from the exhibition. Censorship had nothing to do with it."

I am sure that Colin would be happy to hear from you (info@royalulsteracademy.org) - but be aware that the reasons given for not including the picture have not been represented well in coverage.

Therefore the piece I wrote yesterday was based on inaccurate and incomplete information from the Belfast Telegraph and  I would like to apologise for any offense that may have been caused from my comments.

Update 20 Oct: Finally here is the picture in question

* Sadly at this time I cannot source an image of the painting in question.

Vita, Veritas, Victoria to the Oak Wood of Calgaich or Colmcille

Then one hot day when fields were rank
With cowdung in the grass the angry frogs
Invaded the flax-dam; I ducked through hedges
To a coarse croaking that I had not heard
Before. The air was thick with a bass chorus.
Right down the dam gross-bellied frogs were cocked
On sods; their loose necks pulsed like sails. Some hopped:
The slap and plop were obscene threats. Some sat
Poised like mud grenades, their blunt heads farting.
I sickened, turned, and ran. The great slime kings
Were gathered there for vengeance and I knew
That if I dipped my hand the spawn would clutch it.

from Seamus Heaney's Death of a Naturalist

Well last night the city of my father, my father's father, my father's father's father and at least his father as well* was awarded with the privilege of being the UK's first City of Culture in 2013. Doire, Lunnonderrie, Daire Calgaich, Doire Cholmchille, the Maiden City, Stroke City call it what you will, Derry/Londonderry is about to make history.

As well as Nobel Laureate Mr Heaney above, Restoration Dramatist George Farquhar, authors Joyce Cary, Seamus Deane, Jennifer Johnston and Neil McCafferty all add to the rich history of culture in Northern Ireland's second city. Which is being build on all the time by new contributions to culture of a variety of forms.

Then there are the City Walls the only remaining intact example in Ireland and one of the finest in Europe dating from 1613-1619. The history dates back to the 546 when St. Colmcille,like a lot of my family crossed just over the county boundary from Donegal to set up his monastery.

In the 1600s it was the livery companies from London who came over as part of the plantation to built the City on the West side of the Foyle across from the earlier monastic settlement. It was the first planned city in Ireland with roads off the the central diamond within the walls leading to the four gates of the strong defensive pattern that was followed by many of the North American British colonial settlements.

So from the architecture, through the literature, to music and even the mural of both communities and other aspects there is a thriving culture in the City. Like myself there are Donegal influences in there as well as rural Londonderry and Tyrone. It is a river community and a last stopping off place for many emigrants embarking on the trip to America. But now it is embarking on a new trip to prepare for the future as the City of Culture to showcase the best that the place has to offer to draw people in rather than bid them goodbye.

The City motto is 'Vita, Veritas, Victoria' - 'Life, Truth, Victory'. In 2013 they will embrace life to the fullest, the city probably won't ignore the truth of its past but move forward to a shared future and make the most of this victory with the eyes of the country upon it.

* Beyond that needs some more genealogical digging.

Division of Culture - Not me!

As the son of a west bank Derry/Londonderry (Stroke) City born and raised father, who father, and father's father and his father before him were all born in the city I'm proud of the culture of that city.

There are the poets Seamus Heaney and Seamus Deane, authors Joyce Cary, Jennifer Johnshon and Nell McCaferty, playwright Brian Friel, artist Willie Doherty. Musicians Dana, the Undertones, Damian McGinty and Keith Harkin of Celtic Thunder and yes even Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle. There was also the restoration dramatist Geroge Farquhar and the hymn writer of There is a Green Hill Far Away Cecil Alexander is often said to have been inspired to write that from the view from the Bishop's Palace of the hills outside Derry's walls.

I know that at times it has been tough to reconcile all parts of the city together. Indeed the part of the city that as a boy and youth I visited to see my grandmother was a protestant enclave on the 'wrong' side of the Foyle in some people's opinion. My family also has strong links to county Donegal, the county just a few miles to the West or North of Stroke City but is actually in the 'South of Ireland'.

However, no matter how close the City is to the border of another country it is part of the United Kingdom, its culture is diverse and crosses that man-made imaginary line in the hills. It is a diverse culture and one that is as much part of this country as any other and one that if worthy of being a name being considered City of Culture for a year if it were awarded.

The problem of course is that the full title of the award under consideration is the UK City of Culture and the leader of Sinn Féin on the council Maeve McLaughlin has said:

"While we are a city of culture there has to be a recognition that we're not part of the UK. We are not opposing the bid, but we are putting down a marker at this stage and saying we should be exploring, rather than cementing, this relationship.

"There is a huge onus on the team that's been put together to lead this bid to put in writing how they will address the issue of the tens of thousands of nationalists and republicans in this city and region who do not recognise themselves as part of the UK."

As I've pointed out above the geography does make the city a part of the UK, but I readily admit that the culture is not so easily confined. As someone who support Bangor and Ulster in the Rugby yet Down and Derry in the Gaelic sports I'm part of that mixed up culture.

I'm more of the same mind as the former SDLP leader Mark Durkan MP who said:

"This bid is an opportunity for Derry to promote itself as a city and to promote the wider region. It is about our civic ambition. It is about our cultural ambition. It is nothing to do with political aspiration – in which the people of this city have very clear views and differences about wanting to be part of a united Ireland or United Kingdom.

"Are we going to say that any other funding or opportunity that is set up on a UK basis we count ourselves out of? We should not be disabling ourselves from making the most of any opportunity to which we are as entitled as anyone else.

"And we can do that without compromising any of our political beliefs, any of our interests and identities that we hold very dearly at a political level."

I know for a fact that nationalist groups are not backward in coming forward for funding from the Northern Irish departments since devolution, just because the money is from the UK coffers.

I hope Sinn Féin realise that the title is one thing how that is then promoted is up to the people and civic officials of Derry/Londonderry/Doire. Give the City a chance to celebrate its culture in all its diversity.

You know you're from Belfast....

.....when.

Courtesy of the Belfast Telegraph.

Thankfully being from the burbs I haven't done or know all of these.

Minister of Low Culture in His Own Words

Fans of the Book Quiz can almost hear Kirsty Warke ask who wrote these words:

"The tiny Borders town of Wanlockhead looks like a Scottish version of the American Deep South terror film Deliverance, it is difficult to walk through Glasgow without falling over a drug addict and the Union flag over Edinburgh Castle is an 'awful mutant tablecloth'."

The answer is the new minister of Arts and Culture Mike Russell it comes from a book he wrote in 1988 In Waiting: Travels in the Shadow of Edwin Muir. The Minister tried to distance himself by time and saying that the the SNP government has made significant improvements to each place he insulted.

Places like Glasgow:

"Pull over the car (if you dare) and walk into the closes loses smelling of urine and rubbish, cluttered with dirt and debris. The walls are decorated with spray-paint graffiti and it is not uncommon to have to step over a comatose body, with or without a needle by its side."

Or Aberdeen:

"It feels no more hospitable than when I first came here – there is still a snell wind that blows through the town, and dark corners by the harbour that make passers-by walk more quickly."

So the SNP have obviously sorted out the weather in Aberdeen.

The Union flag over Edinburgh Castle is dismissed as "an awful mutant tablecloth", and of Dumfries he said: "The town centre … has the usual sprinkling of chain stores and the usual complement of skinny, ill-dressed women in their early twenties who seem to hover around cheap Scottish shops like importuning wraiths."

Even the National Trust for Scotland, which now falls under his remit fails to escape, being described as 'elitist' and 'arrogant'. Indeed the Labour MP for Dumfries Russell Brown says such proclamations are 'arrogant and pompous' and it is he who is elitist 'looking down his nose at local people'.

So having insulted most of Scotland the culture minister now has an uphill task to make amends.

Scolari, Fabiani, Watt, Maxwell: Out, Out, Out, Out

On the back of big Phil's removal from Stamford Bridge and while the former heads of the RBS and HBoS were making their apologies Alex has welded his sgian dubh, I would have said Claymore if any of the Cabinet had been effected. Indeed Scottish Tory deputy leader Murdo Fraser did say that Salmond should have taken an axe to his cabinet, rather than 'knifing a few junior ministers'.

Culture minister Linda Fabiani, schools minister Maureen Watt and housing and sports minister Stewart Maxwell all lost their junior ministerial roles in Salmond's first reshuffle. The sport portfolio has been added to public Health Minister Shona Robinson's brief. Mike Russell has moved to Culture while his environment brief has been taken up by Roseanna Cunningham. Also arriving is Alex Neil as a revamped communities and housing minister. With Keith Brown stepping up to assist Fiona Hyslop as the new education minister for schools and skills.

As Mike Rumbles, Lib Dem chief whip put it:

"I'm delighted that Alex Neil's ultra loyalty has finally been rewarded. The lesson of this reshuffle is that slavish adoration of the first minister pays dividends."

Labour health spokesperson Cathy Jamieson said the reason for Maxwell's demise was plain:

"The number of new homes being built in our two biggest cities is falling off the edge of a cliff.

"The Scottish Federation of Housing Associations reports that its members are being forced to reduce their ambitions and shelve badly needed developments because of funding cuts by the SNP government."

So the high noon of the short sgian dubhs is over. Buried under a heap of Scottish Banking news. Does it show that in culture, education, housing and sports that the SNP are failing to deliver?Certainly the team that had been responsible must have been. Shockingly do they really think that Environment has been a success with Maxwell's move to Culture? Or have they failed there to and are just shifting out the dross?