A step back towards Section 28

As the Scottish Parliament heads towards Equal Marraige the menace that is some of the most vocal of those opposed is seeking to set the clock back. Scotland for Marriage in their response to the consultation have raised concerns about how the subject of same sex marriage and have urged that parents should have the right to remove their children from the classroom whenever such issues are to be discussed.

It is a step back to Section 28, which even now many of the Tories who voted to bring it in say was a mistake. But is also means that there will be some children in classes who will not learn that the family of some of their class mates is normal and allowed. Some of those who have two parents of the same sex will by those children who are excluded by their prejudiced parents been seen as odd, out of the ordinary. Also because they are not allowed to have heard about it with the rest of their class they will think it is disgusting and that those children are to be kept away from, shunned even bullied.

You see while those who fail to acknowledge that the next generation growing up do not come from homogenous families of one man and one women, those that do not fit into that mode, that they fail to let their children learn about will continue to be put under pressure from their kids. It is a self fulfilling prophecy that kids with same-sex parents will be picked on at school. If the attitude of some is to take their kids out of classes that discuss the issue those prejudices will be passed down.

As the victim of bullying at school, because I stood out as different, even though at the time I didn't realise (or maybe just didn't want to acknowledge) why I know that life can be tough. If some children are not allowed to discuss these issues in the midst of those that are affected they will not see them as normal and will therefore react in just the way that bullies have done through the years.

So Scotland for Marriage are merely going to propagate the continuation of homophobic bullying, not only of kids who are LGBT but also those perceived to be and those whose parents are known to be, if they achieve their goal.

I hope the Scottish Government stands firm. It is important that we do not slip back into a Section 28 like quagmire. For the well being of all our school children it is important that everyone learns about the fact that some people have a mum and dad, some two mums or dads, some multiples of one or both due to divorce and also that some only have one parent. Just as some are fostered or adopted. It doesn't make any of them any different from each other, nor the love of their parents is any less for any of them. That is the key, that is what the lessons will be trying to teach.

Bullying for me

There is a saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I suppose in my case at primary school it made me faster, that was my way to avoid the bullies that came after me every break time. If I could manage to avoid them for the 15 minutes I would avoid getting hit. Lunch time was somewhat easier as we tended to play football and the guys on my team didn't like it too much if one of their fastest players was distracted by two numpties chasing him down.

Because I was bullied at school I ran, I learnt to sidestep and probably would have been an effective rugby player if I hadn't been bullied while doing that by a member of staff and some of the team while doing that in first year of secondary school. So I carried on running.

When I got to the top end of secondary school I was spotted out running by one of the guys in the years above me. The athletics coach invited me to join the elite team running during games. We ended taking most of the first of the periods to climb from school to the road leading to Scrabo Golf Club and then back in along the main Comber-Newtownards Road. I got unto the cross country team I was that good a runner.

Then I earned the school honours tie for athletics because of the number of times I had run for and represented the school's senior team. In my sixth upper year I was the only boy in our school to wear a predominantly green tie (the girl's colour) as at that time it was the only sport taken by both sexes and there were his and her prefect's ties.

You'd have thought that would be the end of the bullying, but there is a knife mark in the back of tie where someone from school thought they could still bully me.

Today's marks the end of anti-bullying week, I have stopped running from the bullies. Indeed some years ago I was in town with friends when I ran into one of the guys who bullied me in school. I went up to them and simply said to them, "You were right", he looked confused and said "Huh!", I went on, "I am gay I just didn't know it when you thought it was fun to beat up the gay guy at school."

I'm lucky enough to still be around to confront my demons. Lucky enough to have gained the self confidence to be able to do that, confident in who I am and what that means, not just to me but to others. I suppose admitting that you are gay in a debate on national TV kind of means that you can't hide that particular fact. But for many it isn't that easy they still cower from the bullies in their daily life for whatever reason. It isn't all about sexuality some of from a different race, or have a disability or are different in some other way, whether they are smarter, musically gifted or whatever. Sometimes it is those with a talent who get bullied by those who don't even try or don't bother to develop what they might be able to achieve.

And it isn't always physical but often it is the words. The adage about sticks and stones is wrong, words can hurt, you just don't see the scars that words leave in the same way that a beating can. Someone can be hurt by the words but afraid to speak out and they can end up slowly beating themselves up, maybe self harming or contemplating suicide.

Be aware of those around you, if they are drawn in and reclusive there may be a reason you know nothing about, built them up with words and deeds. You never know you may be the anecdote to teh bullying they have suffered or are suffering, you may become someone that they can lean on when they need to.

Tha'll not come a changin' wi' t'rest #LG

I can't believe the findings that Sheffield Hallam University have come up with today. In its study Tackling Homophobia and Transphobia In Settings Supporting Young People it found that LGBT young people in more than one school across Yorkshire were being asked to change for sports and PE in a separate room or toilet and not in the changing rooms with other students.

It made me think back to the article I wrote about the stupidity and homophobia of the American Family Association on just such an issue early last year. I never thought I'd be taking up keyboard about the same issue in my own country.

The reason cited was when students complained about being singled out in such a way was because it was "for their own safety" or to "stop causing a fuss". The problem of course is in singling anyone out as different. Whilst there may be a fear of letting an openly or perceived LGBT pupil face what might happen in a changing room, singling them out and taking them away from the situation makes them more of an overt target, not just in the changing room but elsewhere.

Knowing the layout of my old school changing facilities the only option to change elsewhere would have been in the staff changing room. Surely that is open to other dangers! Or misinterpretation! Or along a long corridor well away from the changing rooms of the rest. Causing a pupil to walk in gym kit to and from the sports centre while other pupils are going about their change of class. In other words making the 'difference' of that LGBT pupil spread outside their year group, possibly to older pupils, or maybe also in vision of other closeted LGBT pupils.

The effect of such policy certainly leads to LGBT pupils wanting to avoid physical education classes or school altogether on such day. May as a result of the isolation and picking out as different by staff lead to increased bullying, increased homophobia and false assumptions of paedophilia based on the actions, lead to other pupils still questioning or hiding their identity not to come out.

I faced enough bullying on the assumption by others (as I was denying it myself) that I was gay in secondary school. Although never in the changing rooms, possibly because I was a team player and one of the sportsmen who went on to earn an honours tie for representing my school at the senior level. It happened often enough away from the eyes of teachers and I served a couple of punishments for fighting back at the wrong point, because the teachers never seemed to take action over the homophobic bullying, or maybe I was scared to admit that was an element of it.

So how do you deal with homophobic bullying in the changing rooms?

• First don't isolate the victims, if you have to isolate the bullies in a separate changing facility. 
• Never publicly mark out somebody who already feels different as such, then the others will jump to their own conclusions as to why the steps are being taken. Look for example at the above comment about paedophilia. While you may think removing an LGBT pupil is for their safety the rumour could start by those left that it is for theirs and a new generation grow up with that stereotype. Grr!
• Learn and teach that not every naked (fe)male body is going to be attractive to an (L)GBT pupil. I still go to the gym and there are some very unattractive and off-putting sights in the male changing rooms.
• If you are being inclusive that means encourage LGBT pupils to take part in sport, not every LGBT person is poor at sports look at Martina Navratilova, Steven Davies, Dónal Óg Cusack, Matt Mitcham and others as examples who excel at their sport. Doubt if any of them ever had to change in alternative changing facilities because of their sexuality.

So lets look at the needs of the already possibly nervous LGBT pupil in a sensible way that won't hinder them or others in the long term. Isolation and a separate changing regime most certain is not going to prevent that.

Left Out of the Equation report show homophobia not tackled in Northern Ireland Schools

The Office of the First Minister and Deputy First Minister last year produced their Draft Programme for Cohesion, Sharing and Integration which as many people pointed out ignored LGBT issues, failed to promise to deliver a Sexual Orientation Strategy before 2012. Indeed failed to take us on much since the investigation intohomophobic harassment and violence of 2003.

Is it any wonder that with such institutionalised inaction by the NI executive that the Left Out of the Equation report from The Rainbow Project and Cara Friend looking at the experiences of LGBT young people at school is so harrowing?

• 94 per cent said that there was nothing taught in sexual health education that was relevant to them
• 87 per cent felt that their school took not effort to prevent homophobic bullying
• 69 per cent said that teachers took no action to stop homophobic language and that 8% reported that staff laughed along or joined in

These are all figures that I would have expected in my school days over 20 years ago, the fact that this is still the case means that another generation of school children are going through the bullying that I endured and worse another generation are getting away with believing that it is alright to do so. 

The recommendations of the report are that:

• Government must ensure that all schools are required to have an effective policy and intervention  strategy to combat homophobic bullying.
• The Minister for Education must ensure that there is an appropriate complaints mechanism where pupils and their families can challenge the decisions of Boards of Governors.
• The Minister for Education must ensure that the legal protections afforded to LGB people are not denied to young people.
• The Minister for Education must ensure that all teachers are required to have effective training in how to intervene when they witness homophobic language and behaviour.
• The Minister for Education must ensure that there is a legal duty placed on schools; that they must show due regard to the necessity of promoting equality of opportunity for all young people.

I look forward to finding out what the Minister of Education intends to do about these once he is not standing in as Deputy First Minister.

Wearing Purple Today - A Call to End Commitment to Procrastinate

Today is a day that I'm wearing purple* it is a colour that may be being seen around the world on a lot of people. The reason being that today has been set aside as a day to highlight gay bullying and the recent spate of teen suicides that have been directly related to it.

Many of you have said through various means how much my personal experience posted at start of the month moved you. If you haven't already take a look but be warned tissues are a pre-requisite for clicking that link (as indeed they are for me to read the comments).

Last night I attended a consultation for the LGBT sector in Northern Ireland into the Office of the First Minister and deputy First Minister's (OFMDFM's) Programme for Cohesion, Sharing and Integration (CSI). The major problem of the document is that it focuses merely on racism and sectarianism whilst ignoring other diversities and minority groups as laid out in Northern Irish legislation, (disability, victims of conflict and their families, LGBT and women amongst them).

There is a passing reference that this will set in place a timetable to bring in a sexual orientation strategy. This is a bone of contention within the LGBT community in Northern Ireland. There was already a consultation document for a Sexual Orientation Strategy on LGB (note the lack of T). A question has been asked by Stephen Farry MLA (Alliance) about a firm commitment to a timetable for this.

"Will the junior Minister give a firm commitment of a timetable within which the strategy will be brought to fruition? In doing so, will he bear in mind that a commitment was given to the Committee for the Office of the First Minister and deputy First Minister back in 2009 that such a strategy would be brought forward shortly?"

The Junior Minister for the OFMDFM Robin Newton in response said:

"a realistic assessment of the time needed to give due consideration to the issues raised and to complete consultation indicates that the timescale for publication would be no earlier than 2012."

Not before 2012! It is getting somewhat outrageous the timescale that his particular consultation is taking. The omission then from naming homophobic or transphobic hate crimes by name but is a ghostly and other types gloss over is galling in the draft CSI programme. In what turned out to be almost the last word last night I said:

"While the ministers of OFMDFM are telling us not before 2012. This is not a commitment to do anything, merely a commitment to procrastinate."

• 98% of LGBT young people suffered homophobic bullying at school.
• 30% of this school bullying was by adults
• 66% have contemplated suicide

These figures are startling and in a programme that says it will help young people at risk is ignoring some very much as risk young people by it omission and failure to look at a holistic sense of society and cohesion. It is written with the history of Northern Ireland controlling it and not looking to the present and vitally the future where there are multiple idenities rather than where you really feel you should be on a Sunday morning.


* Not this time to Take Back Parliament which also uses the colour.

Purple Solidarity for LGBTQ Youth Bullied or Suicidal

READ: ****This event was not created by me. It was created by someone who cares deeply on Tumblr, and I am only spreading the word. (via Davey Wavey)****

It's been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes and at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that's exactly what we'd like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools. RIP Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase and Billy Lucas. You are loved.

Join this event and invite everyone on your friends list. Don't let their deaths be for nothing. Let it mean something, and let's do something to change this country for once.

If my recent blog posts haven't been enough to persuade you to join me wearing purple this Wednesday, here is Fort Worth councillor Joel Burns sharing part of his experience for the first time in the chamber.

I'm Not a Statistic...But Came So Close

For the moment Tyler Clementi (18) is the most infamous teen suicide victim, but in time he will become a statistic. Just like Raymond Chase (19), Seth Walsh (13), Asher Brown (15), and Billy Lucas (13), five other young gay American teens who have taken their life in recent weeks however over time he may well turn into just another statistic.

They were all bullied at school. Now they were a mix of races, mix of locations, the one common denominator is that they were all gay and they had all in some way been bullied because of it. As a seventeen year old I too almost became one of those statistics for exactly the same reasons. I stood at the end of the breakwater in town on a particularly stormy day knowing if I took one further step I would be crushed by the breakers against the concrete before anyone could get near me, or indeed the RNLI Lifeboat could be launched from across the marina.

As an adult while out one night I actually was able as a confident out man to run into one of the people who had actually bullied me for being gay at school. Someone who had physically beaten me unless I ran, who hurled names at me. It was something I myself was in denial of at that time, unlike (from what I read) the five young men who are no longer with us.

But on that Saturday I went up to that former bully of me and said just three simple words, "You were right."

I got a stare back, then a "What?"


So I expanded, "You were right, I am gay, and it doesn't make me any less of a man."

There are those who have known me over the past 24 years. Those who have known what I have done, either for them personally or for a group of people they know or are involved with, who may actually say it makes me more of a man. There has been so much in the last 24 years that I have been able to give to others. Some of it sure is because of my sexuality, most of it is in spite or irrelevant to that aspect of my life.

Sadly the world is missing out on what Tyler, Raymond, Seth, Asher and Billy have got to offer in the years that should still be ahead of them. Sadly it is also missing out on some of the people I've known personally who are more that just a mere statistic. Some of whom did come to me for help along the way, some of whom couldn't handle it for whatever reason ended it. There are others that I know have thought about ending their own lives but haven't and are still with us, still having a lot to give.

Reading the details of some of these stories over recent weeks has brought a lot of memories back. Ones that make me want to curl up in a ball and shut the world out. But something the last 24 years has led me to do is be someone who speaks out.

Here is where Stonewall have it right we need to end homophobic bullying wherever it happens; schools, churches, workplaces, public transport, anywhere. However, it happens while there is not equality and without equality some will always see it as not-normal, sub-normal even. However, as my statement above said being me, being gay, hasn't made me any less of a man.

I've run at a high level, debated with confidence with politicians and leaders of parties, deal with senior bosses of a multi-national company prepared to say no if the answer actually is no. None of these things is dependent on my sexuality but on attributes or skills that are as intrinsic a part of me of who I fall in love with.

The skills of too many young gay men, or lesbian women are being lost to our world while others bully them to the point they cannot take it. Those of us they trust can only reach out so far and can't be there 24/7/365.

Something else that came out of last night's discussion was that when we were teenagers struggling with our sexuality there weren't gay role models, either on the national stage or who we knew personally. That is a lot easier now to find in Northern Ireland and I hope in parts of the USA, but it isn't always easy. However, comments from leaders in fields that young people look up to like the one made by 50 Cent whatever its intention do not make things easy. Other teens then feel it is alright to carry on with the gay bashing. The fact that in teen slang 'gay' means something is bad leads to extra pressure these days.

Or course heterosexual teens are bullied as well. Heterosexual teens also take their own lives. But the reasons for bullying them do not seem in some small way to be institutionalised by the difference in status, available status etc that is afforded to them over LGBT teens. Normalisation needs to happen through full equality.

Probe Into Bullying Helpline's Action - But Main Issue Still the Bullying

Fear over public trust in charities that run confidential helplines has led the Charities Commission to launch a probe into the National Bullying Helpline (NBH).

The Commission said it had a duty to "promote public trust and confidence in charities, and is aware of the potential impact on other charities that run confidential help lines". Also that is sought to "ensure the trustees continue to protect this confidential and sensitive information" and have also made an order "preventing the transmission or disclosure of information, including details about the nature and source of the confidential calls it has received" without its permission.

NBH founder Christine Pratt had at the weekend identified in all but name members of Downing Street staff who had called in confidence seeking assistance. All the charities patrons had resigned by the end of Monday over the leakage of information. The Charity Commission had received 160 complaints and the service of NBH was suspended yesterday.

The action had also come after Max Clifford has told Mrs Pratt she needed to provide evidence to back up her claims. The action taken by the charity commission will be a stop of such information becoming public and the protection of those who sought advise.

The one issue though is that there may yet be a case to be answered to within Downing Street, the way the information has been released is not following due process. The denials from Downing Street even starting before the allegations in Sunday's Observer from Andrew Rawnsley's book show that there is over sensitivity there on this issue. The crux of the story is still whether there was bullying at the heart of Government. So while NBH have done themselves and confidential helplines some harm in the public perception from their actions they have highlighted an issue that needs addressing.

Bullying Helpline Patron Quits - Update Make that two, no three

Professor Cary Cooper has just announced that he has quit the National Bullying Helpline (NBH) the organisation at the heart of the Brown bullying enquiries and concerns about the confidentiality of those who have called it. Prof. Cooper an expert in workplace stress told the BBC that he was "really upset" adding:

"[As] a helpline or counselling service you never, ever reveal anything to do with when a client calls you in any way."

Another bullying charity Bulling UK had said on its website yesterday it was "horrified" that Christine Pratt CEO of the NBH had "all but identified" one caller in media interviews. Speaking of the serious nature of such disclosure they said:

"It's hard to imagine a more serious breach of confidentiality."

With Professor Cooper's departure today serious questions need to be asked about this incident, not just the leakage of the material but now that they have been exposed the claims of those who had called.

UPDATE: A second patron TV presenter Sarah Cawood has also announced that she has stepped down. Another Patron Ann Widdecombe MP has also expressed concerns about recent events:

"The helpline is supposed to be confidential and while no details were revealed I do not think it is a good idea."

UPDATE 2: No sooner had a published the last update than tweetdeck alerted me to the fact that Ann Widdecombe is also stepping down. In a statement Ms Cawood said that the reason she is stepping down said:

"In light of the recent events where confidential phone calls were made public, I feel it is no longer a campaign with which I would like my name to be associated."

However, Christine Pratt apparently fire fighting said:

"Her role as a patron has been disappointing and she has not got involved in spite of making many promises," she said.

"Appointing her as a patron was with hindsight a mistake."

Nick Clegg Sets Out the Real Gay Rights' Agenda

Earlier this week David Cameron made what looked like an ad hoc adjustment to his income tax marriage person's allowance announcement when he added in civil partnerships. After the slap dash 50 minutes in which he took to clarify his position when he first announced those plans, this addendum looked like an add on from policy wonks to answer some, though not all of the inequality questions his proposal raised.

Nick Clegg this morning talking in The Independent goes further than any other leader ever has to knock out the last few areas of inequality for the gay community. He's basically saying enough of 'equal but different' why can't we just be equal.


Education

First up Nick calls for all schools to adopt anti-homophobia bullying policies and to teach that homosexuality exists and is normal. This he wants to apply even to faith schools. Many people grow up in a faith community feeling they are isolated, the feelings that they are going through are not something they can share with teachers, fellow pupils or whatever because of the way that homosexuality is treated. It can, and does, lead to depression in a number of people. Of course such feeling are not exclusive to such an school environment, but they do accentuate it in a faith school environment. At least having access to information and feeling more able to talk about it is something that people who actually are of that faith and find themselves to be gay need as much as every other teenager in our country.

As for protection from homophobic bullying, not every child has the opportunity long after the bullying ceases to go up to the bully and say, "You know you were right". To looks of confusion from the bully like I did a few years back.

Equal Marriage

Nick is calling for the same marital rights for gay men and women as straight couples. The Tories appear to be wanting to tinker around the edges of this, acknowledge it in the tax code but not much else. David Cameron talked earlier this week about extending the 'marriage' allowance to include 'civil partnerships' Nick wants to make those unions marriage. By full marital rights Nick is also saying that those that want a same sex marriage to be solemnised within a faith may do so if they find a clergyman or woman willing to do so. He's not forcing the churches, mosques, synagogues or whatever to all carry out such ceremonies merely allowing those who are inclined the option of being involved in such a ceremony where currently they are banned.

On this issue Nick has said:

"If we don’t want to discriminate, why do we make differences in language? Language is a hugely important signifier of how we segment society and how you seek to create differences between people. Since we don’t want to make differences on this and the law has moved a great deal to do that, we should be linguistically the same too."

Blood ban

As I said at Scottish Spring Conference last year, there is fallacy in the Blood Transfusion Services definition of "risky" sexual behaviour of those who donate. It isn't actually based on behaviour it is based on a categorisation of an entire section of the population, ignoring more risky sexual practitioners in the straight community over the safer members of the gay one. Recently I read another article about the shortage of O negative blood as a result of the recent cold weather, crying out for donors to come forward. My O neg of course could have helped if they'd only let me.

Asylum seekers

Currently there is no recognition that someone fleeing their country for sexual persecution can seek asylum in this country. We have sent back young men to some countries where they face certain death for admitting they are gay. We offer such protection for those who are politically or religiously persecuted. These people if they are faced with eminent danger should they be returned home will often face a favourable hearing for their case for asylum.

This of course is not about immigration but offering help to those who face persecution. Even the Christians would have to own up that Jesus told them to help those who face persecution, he didn't put any provisos unto that appeal.

On the issue of asylum seekers Nick added:

"It's a moral stain on our collective consciousnesses. The public debate has transformed asylum seekers into threats rather than human beings."

He said Lib Dem policy would be that Britain should provide sanctuary to those fleeing persecution because of their sexual orientation:

"It’s not just me that says this, it’s international law that says it."

Uganda

For those that do not know Uganda are currently debating a new policy that will lock up anyone involved in homosexual practices for live. Any who are HIV positive or who have AIDS face summary execution. Considering the rate of HIV infection on the African continent this could well turn into a cull. After all the use of HIV may well turn into the only 'evidence' that homosexual activity took place.

As with the asylum regulations above this is something we could not condone. While most of those asylum seekers come from countries where we may well have little sway with sanctions, Uganda is part of the Commonwealth and we have in the past excluded such members for taking actions against the spirit of the Commonwealth.


Finally

Speaking of the Conservative positioning on gay issues Nick said:

"He [David Cameron] is a confection. I don’t really know what he believes in. I don’t know what his convictions are and the reason is because they keep changing – and they seem to change for convenience. So when it mattered, when people went through the lobby to vote on Section 28, his convictions were on the wrong side. Suddenly they’ve changed and we get an apology!"

Mr Clegg questioned the Tory leader’s record of supporting gay equality, highlighting how Mr Cameron voted against the repeal of Section 28 (he last year apologised for the Tories’ introduction of Section 28) and how he has allied his party with right-wing anti-gay groups in Europe.

"The surveys of a lot of the next generation of Conservative MPs show massive residue of indifference at best, prejudice at worst [to the subject of gay rights]."

Nick is also being interviewed in the February edition of Attitude magazine which is out this week. But as I haven't seen that article a separate blog entry will probably follow.

Campaign Against Homophobic Bullying.

The Liberal Democrats have today unveiled a new campaign aimed at ending homophobioc bullying in schools.

The camapaign has three aims that:


1. Homophobic taunts and name calling in schools should be challenged immediately by staff.

2. All schools' anti-bullying policies should be required to include measures specifically to deal with homophobic bullying.

3. At least one teacher in every school should undergo training which includes how to tackle homophobic bullying.

As someone who was a victim of some homophobic bullying at school I reckon this campaign is long overdue but looks like it has established keys issues and strategies to deal with this problem.

So add you support by signing the petition.