Monday, 24 August 2009

Back to the Simple Life: A Guide for Americans to Boycott Scotland

Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice
So the Americans wish to boycott Scotland and all that means after the release of al-Megrahi last week, let me help you out.

First turn off the TV right now, as that was invented by John Logie Baird a Scot. You're just going to have to find other things to do with your time. But you're not going to be able to arrange it by telephone as that was invented by Alexander Graham Bell another Scot.

Yes America you are actually going to have to go around and visit people. But you can't go by car as the pneumatic tyre was invented by Scot John Dunlop and the tarmac technique of paving most roads was developed by another John Loudon McAdam.

If you get ill we can't prescribe you penicillin as Alexander Fleming discovered that. Also ultrasound, Ian Donald, and MRI Scans, John Mallard, are also out. If I were you I'd opt for the Obama health plan if you're doing away with the Scottish influence.

As for McDonalds well with a name like that it's bound to be Scottish.

6 comments:

  1. you forgot to add terrorist sympathisers to the list.

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  2. Apropros nothing, isn't Obama's autobiography published by Canongate?

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  3. Are any of these the same Americans who were honoring and supporting terrorism in our country, by describing convicted thugs as "prisoners of war" and making the spokesperson for those thugs "guest of honour at their parades?

    http://www.baevents.com/canaldiggers/hibernianhistory.html

    http://www.uicany.org/United_Irish_Counties/History.html

    examples found just in a quick Google search.

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  4. You can also rule out operations under anaesthetic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Young_Simpson but don't think you can drink yourselves under with whisky

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  5. I think Americans could still use penicillin with a clear conscience because even though Alexander Fleming "accidentally" discovered penicillin, the real work in making it available as a useable drug was done by an Australian, a German and a Englishman.

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  6. The same Americans who funded Sinn Fein, who bought Semtex for the IRA from errrr Libya

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