Thursday, 4 December 2008

Lucozade All Eck Wants for Christmas

Apparently the Rev I.M. Salmond First Minister to the new kirk of Holyrood wants a year's supply of Lucozade™ for Christmas. Well this does raise the questions is that in bottles or cans? How many bottles/cans does he get through in a day? What capacity bottle (if bottle is preferred option) does he use? Also does his dentist know he drinks this many sugary drinks on a daily/yearly basis? And if so, what has the First Minister's dentist got the say about it?

I follow commend Scottish Lib Dem leader Tavish Scott's wish on this wish list, though it will be somewhat delayed in delivery. He like me is hoping that Liverpool maintain their current position in the Premier League when the final, final whistles of the season are blown. For those not au fait with football that would mean Liverpool have finally won a title for the first time since 1989-90, the first under the Premier League brand and will help to keep the marauding Manchester United at bay from equalling our record of titles for at least another 2 seasons.

The Labour Leader Iain Gray wants Barack Obama's Ray-Bans™. These are probably so he can attend an East Lothian constituency party function without drawing attention to himself.

Meanwhile elsewhere Margo MacDonald clearly wants to be Willie Wonka by wanting a whole chocolate factory, maybe Margo is going to attempt euthanasia by death by chocolate. Margaret Mitchell is a bit Michael Jackson-esque is wishing for a chimpanzee and Willie Coffee wants a Star Trek™ phaser gun (this is available just up the hill from the Parliament and down South Bridge at Forbidden Planet™), unless of course he wants a fully functioning model in which case he may have to wait until after Montgomery Scott is born in Linlithgow.


  1. You realise there's a good chance all your questions about Alex Salmond's lucozade will end up on the business bulletin as written questions from George Foulkes?

  2. Just so long as Kez credits her..., I mean his, source. ;)