If you go down Glasgow East today you'd better go in disguise.
If you go down Glasgow East today you may have a big surprise.
For Cabinet Ministers that aren't media shy
Are hiding there only Gordon knows why.
Today may be the day a cabinet Minister comes to Glasgow.
To be read in a David Attenborough voice:
Here in the East End of Glasgow we are witnessing the emergence of a new political animal. The once proud display of the cabinet minister, flaunting their plumage to the press pack, is not on display here. Under cover of darkness and secret rendezvous they are meeting the lesser MSP cum candidate for electioneering on the sly.
Last week tracks were found of the Deputous Prime Ministerious and the Defencious Ministerious. Both eluded the press pack, who were only aware of their presence when trackers pointed out that they had been in this urban jungle. The sibling of the late Escotia Primus Ministerous a more International creature these days was also in these woods twice in the last seven days, with such unexpectedness that the media failed to note its arrival. Also the lesser used Scottish Office Cairns and a plethora of lesser lights, normally who vie for the spotlight, all came and went in cognito.
This is not normal by election activity for these media whores. They normally strut up and down alongside the candidate bird. Grabbing sound bites, calling out policy, clucking up to the King Tim'rous Beastie that is hibernating in its London habitat.
My colleagues Bill Oddie and Kate Humble will be joining us here for By Election Watch. If you spot any of the cabinet ministers shirking the spotlight please let us know.