Jeffrey Donaldson launches the TUP (Theocratic Unionist Party)*

*This is a spoof news report

Speaking today on the Stephen Nolan Show Jeffrey Donaldson said he was taking a stand for the things that are Christian. Saying that he is a Christian and a politician he would say that there are certain things that are morally for the good of the people of Northern Ireland even if they are not Christians**.

He said he and the Theocratic Unionist Party would take a stand on such things that are clearly laid out in the bible on moral issues. Staring today he and his party will rid the canteen in the bowels of Stormont of prawns, lobster in line with the bibles teaching in Leviticus 11: 9-12

"These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you."

The wearing of football tops, yes even those of Rangers, Linfield and Glentoran will be banned forthwith also unless the manufacturers can prove that they are of only of one fabric. Yes shell suits shall not be allowed along as people head to the shops in Sandy Row or the Newtownards Road, nor when they turn up at the Brew to sign on. Because the TUP will be making a stand for Deuteronomy 22:11

"Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together."

On the subject of clothing and in a show of all island solidarity May McFettridge John Linehan will be rounded up by the TUP and their colleagues in the Dáil will be asked to do the same with Mrs Agnes Brown Brendan O'Carroll. After all it is time that Ireland took a stand on Deuteronomy 22:5

"A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God."

But the highlight is this weekend is when Jeffrey Donaldson and the rest of the senior figures in the TUP go up to the Robinson household as well as the Lock Keepers Inn and take Iris and the proprietor of said premises with them down to Windsor Park where for the half time entertainment the TUP will honour Deuteronomy 22:22

"If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, boththe man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel."

And now for the serious bit

Of course the DUP do not take all of the law of the bible literally. They do not enforce every therein contained with Theocratic absoluteness. Yet on abortion and gays they get particularly hung up.

On abortions which were carried out by the ancient Egyptians as well as the Greeks and Romans sometimes by a blend of herbs like an abortion pill, or sometimes with sharp implements to remove the foetus never once gets a specific mention in all the detailed laws in the bible.

Whilst they do seem to want to put any of us who lay with men to death, they do all they can to prevent us from living life to the full while claiming they are all for Britishness. Yet many Northern Irish gay men as always feel more comfortable being British elsewhere in the UK.

** This bit is not actually spoof that is more is less what he actually said.

Strong redrafted by Rick Perry

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our former speaker can’t celebrate an open marriage with his mistress in Washington as his wife at home. As President, I'm sure that Gingrich's war on Clinton will not stop him having sex with that woman, or that woman, or that woman. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on his sexual history of cheating on his wives. Faith made America strong. It can make The current Mrs Gingrich strong again. I’m Rick Perry and I approve Newt Gingrich.

The original ad is below.



Yeah believe it or not on the day that the second wife of Newt Gingrich revealed he wanted an open marriage when he confessed to his six-year affair, has suspended his campaign. This man of faith who doesn't think gays can enter monogamous marriage, or serve openly in the US Military, is backing the hypocrite who ordered the equiry into the Lewinski affair before saying goodnight to his wife while his mistress was beside him in his bed.

Now that is a strong choice, NOT!


Update Having just read that Newt Gingrich is offering senior appointments to GOP endorsers. Oops that is another contravention of the US Constitution after saying he will over rule the Supreme Court earlier. So Perry is endorsing a felon, see below:

TITLE 18 > PART I > CHAPTER 29 > § 599§ 599. Promise of appointment by candidate

Whoever, being a candidate, directly or indirectly promises or pledges the appointment, or the use of his influence or support for the appointment of any person to any public or private position or employment, for the purpose of procuring support in his candidacy shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both; and if the violation was willful, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.

He'll travel to the Falls but not down the corridor - is that repugnant?

Now there was a time that a DUP elected politician attending a debate at St. Louise's School on the Falls Road would garner nothing but applause. Let me add that of course I'm delighted that the DUP send representatives to the Féile's West Belfast Talks Back event it shows an inclusiveness and more towards normality that was still somewhat lacking a few short years ago.

The problem comes from the DUP representative at this year's event. Yeah Jim Wells is the one who will happily attend a discussion on a wide range of issues on the Falls Road, but wouldn't attend a similar event in the Long Gallery just down the corridor and down some stairs from his Stormont office. Now I'm pretty sure that the behaviour of both audiences will be similar. Respectful of all the speakers, asking questions and listening to the answers. The clothing of those at both these debates will be normal summer street clothing I'd hazard as the weather today is as good as last Monday.

Yet Jim Wells is quite prepared to cross into one section of Northern Ireland society for a discussion of issues that a few years ago he wouldn't have been seen in, yet he wasn't even prepared to head to a different part of the building he works in to talk to another. What is worse he turns down the invite to the other with a message that had veiled meanings that he has refused to comment on or clarify. The different treatment of two different sections of the community that are protected under the two different parts of Section 75 of the Belfast Agreement is something that should be shown up and shouted about for what it is.

Repugnant! 

A politician who were to show such overt prejudice in another part of the United Kingdom would be condemned by his party leadership and would not be considered suitable to hold front bench office. The fact that Mr Wells is earmarked for an office that will have the health and social well being of the LGBT community within his remit is something that is abhorrent to a large number of the LGBT people I have spoken to since Jim's comments were made public. However, he is in the DUP and the position is one that the DUP have chosen under d'Hondt so sadly there is little chance of castigation from on high in his party. Ranks have already been closed, no comments are being made except to lie about the amount of notice given of Pride on the Hill.

Now is the time to engage Jim. If you don't I expect you are going to be picketed wherever you go. Something that he is well aware of happening when people are angry about not being consulted or appearing to have their views taken on board, and if "passions run high" who can tell what takes place. Not that I'm expecting the physical presence of this young DUP protester this evening but a peaceful protest and picket.

Tory Bear Doesn't Get Humour or Copyright

When you post a picture to Facebook you are asked if you have to right to do so. However, that doesn't mean that just anybody can come an lift them. Tory Bear actually known as Harry Cole seems to take a different view and will happily lift stuff he finds on sites that demand the poster has the right to it, rename it and use it for his own purposes. Not even using the netiquette courtesy of a link back to the source. He proudly brandishes the following statement at the foot of his blog:

For a start this is 2008 and second claiming all rights when not referencing sources not your right to give away is a breach of copyright.

Second let's look at the thrust of his 'point' in the 'article' he considers 'newsworthy'*. In a workshop at a training weekend held by Liberal Youth which looked at layout of leaflets. Some of that smart youth, and I know that one of them has designed winning literature in his mid-teens, has decided to name their candidate after the leader and finance spokesperson of the party. An amalgam of two great men. They've name the candidate in a fictitious publication after two people.

Thirdly it is obvious that Conservative Future clearly can't have a good laugh at themselves. Something I'm glad Lib Dems everywhere are more than able to (roll on the Glee Club at Bournemouth). Indeed I was considering writing myself up as the 'Scottish By Election mountain goat' for the Liberal Democrat who's who. I may well do that in the revision for next year. Harry clearly had a humour by pass long before he took up his blue, furry persona. Maybe young Hague is to blame for the seriousness of young Tories, if only it had been Boris making that conference speech in front of Maggie.

However, there is a Tory trait of naming Nick Clegg, the Lib Dem Leader, Chris Clegg including by another anonymous blogger, as recently as last week, who I could name if I were so inclined Scottish Tory Boy.

So let's get this straight a large proposition of leading Tory bloggers shroud themselves in a penetrable shroud of anonymity. Take swipes at a fictitious naming of somebody in a workshop, yet themselves cannot be bothered when blogging news stories to get the actual names right. Claim to have all rights (note only for 2008) while lifting without citing source other people intellectual property.

Wow talk about turning a non-story into a story. One that highlights the hypocrisy of the Conservatives Future, present and past all too well.

* I make no apology for putting three words in inverted commas there the point, article and newsworthiness are very much conjecture.