Monday 23 September 2013

Bisexual visability day

Today is bisexual visability day. "Why do we need such a day/" you may ask, well too often the B is LGBT is an invisable part of the spectrum, yet I believe there are many shades of bi along that spectrum.

So have you ever wondered why you don't know more bisexuals around you? It is probably because they don't constantly have threesomes with one person of each gender but are probably in a monogamous relationship with someone either of the opposite of same gender. That is why they are not as visible as those who identify purely as straight or gay/lesbian.

That being said as I mentioned above there are various shades of bisexuality. I for example should probably identify as bi, my longest sexual relationship was with someone of the opposite gender. This occurred after I came out, lasted for over 5 years but is in a minority of one. Most of my sexual relationships/encounters have been with other men. Therefore for the sake of clarity I find it far easier to merely identify as gay, though this is only somewhere between 95% and 99.9% accurate.

The problem is that whenever someone who is bisexual and more equally homosexual and heterosexual a 3 on the Kinsey scale, their next partner could equally be of either gender. Depending how long the last relationship had been there will be people at work or socially around them who only know them as being attracted to one gender. This is something I experienced after that five year relationship, especially as I had traveled to Scotland early on in that relationship and had to establish new social circles.

Those who are more at the extremes of the Kinsey scale don't face the dilemmas that bisexuals face each time they change partner, potentially changing the sexuality of the partner as well. As well as all the usual pressures of going through the introduction of the new partner, there is all the added rigmarole of whichever way the partner swap appears to those who don't understand. Yes you can be attracted to someone merely because of who they are and not based on which sexual organs they happen to possess. Yes you can be sexually attracted and aroused by them. It is the visibility that is the issue, the world likes to think in terms of a plurality of sexual orientation, just as it likes to when it comes to gender. But neither are quite as straightforward as many would like to believe they can be. In truth there are varied shades of bi.

So there you have it for the sake of clarity on this bisexual visibility day I am stating that I am bi, though on the heavily gay end of the spectrum scoring a strong 5 on the Kinsey scale.

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