Out of the mouth of babes #equalmarriage #lgbt

I've had a pretty bad Monday, three emails turning me down for full time jobs. But then this lifted he up again.

Dear Caroline Flint

Yesterday it appears that Caroline Flint was getting a little desperate. She sent the same email to loads of my Liberal Democrat friends. It started:

Hi Stephen Glenn,

The next general election is going to be won on streets like yours -- so whether you're a seasoned campaigner or a first-time volunteer, your neighbourhood needs your help to defeat the Tories in 2015. 

But Caroline, I'm already have a track record for beating the Tories. It is those other two parties that caused me issues, first in 2005 then in 2010.

So therefore I'll be dialing in to the conference call with great delight to learn of your campaign plan.

Public health warning: Never mix equal marriage, Stephen Nolan show and breakfast

Earlier today Rev. David McIlveen came on The Stephen Nolan Show on Radio Ulster. The reason for his appearance was that the Equality Commission had said that they had come to the opinion that, with movement on the issue in the rest of the UK, Same-Sex Marriage should be extended to Northern Ireland.

But it was some of this comments that caused concern, especially as these were echoed by a number of callers.

Firstly he said that homosexuality should never have been legalised in Northern Ireland in 1983. When challenged by Pink News editor Benjamin Cohen about what would be the penalty Rev McIlveen said that was his place to come up with the penalty. Of course he was stating that the bible should be the basis for the law. The penalty in that is that if men sleep with men they should be stoned. But the Reverend was very careful to say that he did not condone violence against people.

He said he was unaware of what rules applied before 1983. When challenged with the past punishments he said that those were a "totally nonsense response". Well maybe he should read a little more about this. The Labouchere amendment to the 1861 Offences Against the Person Act (which itself lowered the punishment from death to life imprisonment) said the following:

"Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or is a party to the commission of, or procures, or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with an other male person, shall be guilty of a misdemeanour, and being convicted thereof, shall be liable at the discretion of the Court to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years, with or without hard labour."

This was the law under which Oscar Wilde was sentenced and was still in force in Northern Ireland in 1983. It did not merely apply to prostitution but where two consenting men were doing anything even in the privacy of their own homes. It was because of this law being in place in the 1970s that Jeffrey Dudgeon was questioned by the RUC which lead to him taking his case to the European Court of Human Rights.

However, Rev McIlveen went on to say that he would continue to advocate the Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign was an "right and honourable campaign". Before quoting that the court case ruling for his church while allowing the gay community to have their point of view also allowed his church to have theirs. So how is not allowing gay people to be gay people fulfilling that? Which is what the Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign was about.

On the subject of the law, Benjamin Cohen also challenged him when he had quoted that Jesus had come to fulfill the law, that he did not eat pork, or shellfish, and was circumcised as laid out in the Torah. How much of that law did Rev. McIlveen fulfill? You may guess this but Rev McIlveen avoided answering that.

Scarily one of the callers who was obviously listening to the show not far from me in Bangor, came on and said that being gay was a treatable mental illness! Yes, in 21st Century fairly liberal Bangor some people/person think(s) I am mentally ill because I am gay.

I should remember not to listen to Stephen Nolan while eating my breakfast, there are still bits under some of the keys which makes typing somewhat slower than normal.

He is an ex-politician

In light of the latest news about the MP for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath the Monty Python crew would probably say the following:

SCENE: The constituency offices of the MP for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath.

Constituent: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The case worker does not respond.)
Constituent: 'Ello, Miss?
Case Worker: What do you mean "miss"?
Constituent: (pause)I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Case worker: We're closin' for lunch.
Constituent: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this member of parliament what I voted for not three years ago from this very constituency.
Case worker: Oh yes, the, uh, the ex Prime Minister...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Constituent: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E appears to be dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Case worker: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Constituent: Look, matey, I know a dead politician when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Case worker: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable MP, the ex-Prime Minister, idn'it, ay? Beautiful taxpayer fundes offices!
Constituent: The office don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Case worker: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Constituent: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at MP's office)  'Ello, Mister Brown! I've got a lovely fresh bit of case work for you if you show...
(case worker knocks the door with a broom)
Case worker: There, he moved!
Constituent: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the door!
Case worker: I never!!
Constituent: Yes, you did!
Caseworker: I never, never did anything...
Constituent: (yelling and hitting the door repeatedly) 'ELLO GORDY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Opens the door and sees a model of Gordon Brown sitting in the chair. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Constituent: Now that's what I call a dead politician.
Case worker: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Constituent: STUNNED?!?
Case worker: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Ex-Prime Ministers stun easily, major.
Constituent: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That politician is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not three years ago, you assured me that its total lack of action was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged period of activity in House of Commons.
Case Worker: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for Number 10.
Constituent: PININ' for NUMBER TEN?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fail to respond to any of my letters as soon as he was no longer PM?
Case worker: The ex-Primee Minster prefers keepin' on it's post bag small! Remarkable MP, id'nit, squire? Lovely office!
Constituent: Look, I took the liberty of examining that politician when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had not been voted out for inactivity was because this government has failed to delivery a recall facility, which with his amount of inactivity and failure to respond would have been quite easily arranged.
(pause)
Case worker: Well, o'course a recall procedure is a bad idea! If we'd had a recall procedure, it would have cost all his staff their jobs, put us out on the street, there is a recession on after all, and BOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Constituent: "BOOM"?!? Mate, this politician didn't "boom" even when he was chancellor. Ending boom and bust he said, so if things went bust whose fault was it. He wouldn't respond even if he were to get a shot of  four million votes through him! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Case worker: No no! 'E's pining!
Constituent: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This politician is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and not yet gone to the other place! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace, but not on the red benches! If you hadn't nailed his name outside this office 'e'd be pushing up the old Lord and Ladies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' hereditaries!! THIS IS AN EX-POLITICIAN!!
(pause)
Case worker: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of politicians.
Constituent: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Case worker: (pause) I got a slug.
(pause)
Constituent: Pray, does it talk? Make speeches in the House? Vote in divisions*? Respond to constituent's concerns? Actually work for its constituents?
Case worker: Nnnnot really.
Constituent: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Case worker: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Constituent: Well.
(pause)
Case worker: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come help elect the next Labour MP?
Constituent: Why? Who is it?
Case worker: Gordon Brown**?
Constituent: Is he LABOUR?
Case worker: Yes!
Constituent: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

 * Since the 2010 General Election Gordon Brown has only voted in 13.3% of divisions, only the Sinn Féin MPs have voted in less.
** he continues to draw his MPs salary and expenses and donates income from his engagements as an ex-PM to charities but fails to carry out the amount of work expected of someone drawing an MPs salary. Reports from his local party are that he intends to stand again in 2015.

Ineos go all in, Unite fold

The best analogy of the deal that was reached over the Grangemouth plants future this morning comes from the world of poker.

Ineos possibly sick of the infighting and continuous threat of strikes from the Unite Union yesterday announced they were shutting down the petrochemical part of the plant and considering the future of refinery. It was the equivalent of putting all your chips unto the table and being prepared to lose everything.

Unite had rejected the 'last chance survival' plan offered by Ineos, but this morning with 800 jobs apparently already gone and 570 others threatened they capitulated. Accepted all the conditions laid down by that plan as they say "warts and all". Equivalent to throwing all your cards away in poker.

This afternoon we also saw the new Secretary of State for Scotland Alistair Carmichael and Scottish Finance Minister John Swinney together in Grangemouth to talk with Ineos this afternoon.

Addressing the press after that meeting Mr Carmichael said:

"We are in a much better place today in relation to the future of the plant than we were yesterday.

"There remains, of course, a great deal to be done."

Mr Swinney added:

"This plant has got a great future, everybody accepts that Grangemouth has got a great future.

"What we need to do is resolve these outstanding issues, get the investment plan implemented and take forward and improve the prospects for the people that that work in this plant."

The past 24 hours has certainly proved to be a long time in the  life of 1,370 highly skilled jobs in Grangemouth and I hope that in the future both sides will sit down and discuss differences in a constructive and respectful manner long, coming to a conclusion long before it escalates to such potentially damaging circumstances.

The wider impact of the loss of Grangemouth peterochemical jobs

Around 800 people across West Lothian and Falkirk are to lose their jobs with the announcement today that Ineos are to shut down the Grangemouth petrochemical plant with immediate effect. The fate of the remaining 570 jobs linked to the refinery on the same site are yet to be determined.

It is one of the biggest loss of jobs in the area following on the the 3,100 lost with the shutting of the Motorola plant at Bathgate in 2001, the same number lost their jobs at NEC, Livingston the same year. More recently 500 lost their jobs with the shutting down of the Bausch and Lomb plant at Livingston.

But the danger of losing jobs in the petrochemical plant is nothing new. Indeed back in May 1992 my some time sparring partner the MP for Linlithgow and East Falkirk mentioned then recent job losses at the plant in his maiden speech:

"The town of Grangemouth is at the centre of Falkirk, East and has been noted for some time as a petrochemical town, boasting substantial production facilities for BP Oil, BP Chemicals, ICI, General-Electric Plastics, and Rhom and Haas (Scotland). My constituents are pleased at the commitment to investment by those companies, notably the £600 million investment by BP Chemicals in an ethylene cracker plant, the process technology labs of ICI and the Rhom and Haas plant upgrade. However, all is not what it once was. Harry Ewing noted the vast expansion of Grangemouth in 1971, but in 1971, when speaking about new employment, he said that the position was rapidly changing. I say without criticism of local management in Grangemouth that, in 1991–92, more than 1,000 job losses were announced in the town. Some 300 jobs have gone at the BP refinery, 250 have gone at ICI and 200 more redundancies are being sought. In addition, there were major job losses in the timber yards, which were made much of in 1971 by my predecessor."

It is sad day for the 800 who have lost their jobs today. However, both sides have been acting like stubborn mules in recent days, if not years. The owners seem to be doing all they can to get what they view as a white elephant off their books, while at the same time the workers are not prepared to take any chance in pay and conditions, fearing their own job without considering that all the jobs in the sector could be gone.

When Ineos came with what they called a survival plan, you would have thought that alarm bells would have been ringing with the workers. The fact that the plant has survived so long without a major change in conditions when others the area have had to accept such adjustments, knowing that if they didn't their job could disappear.

But the Grangemouth plants is almost a fifedom of Unite. The same union that has been at the centre of the Fallkirk Labour Party's election shenanigans. The Union appears to have been promising the workers take a stand and we'll see that everything will be alright, only to have found that Ineos were also not going to budge. it appears that the 570 jobs in the refinery are now also in danger. But with that there is also other jobs in the oil industry and possibly the ability of Scotland to actually process the oil that lies off its shore.

The last element is going to be of extremely great concern to Alex Salmond because part of the way he was going to fund an independent Scotland was through the production and processing off 'Scottish' oil within Scotland. If the Grangemouth plant were to totally close and be mothballed or decommissioned it could take years if at all to be able to get the processing of oil within Scotland up to the speed that would make it capable of supporting Scotland's economy to the extent that Salmond wants it to. If the oil is going to have to be processes and refined elsewhere that would be extra costs and less value added within Scotland causing a rather big hole in his economic plan.

Hitchhikers Tour hits financial barrier and quotes God

The tour of the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy Radio Show, which I had previously tweeted had  been pulled from coming to Belfast, hit the final buffers today. Last night it showed before a full house, somewhat ironically in Kingston, the town that the first UK researcher on H2G2.com to reach 100 solo entries [i.e. me] went to university.

Part of the message from the producers echoes God's last message to mankind

***SPOILER ALERT***

"We're sorry for the inconvenience."

The full message was:

"The Radio Theatre Company deeply regret to announce the immediate cancellation of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Radio Show 2013 Tour. Tonight's performance at The Hawth, Crawley and tomorrow's at the Watford Colosseum will not take place, nor will any of the remaining scheduled shows in October and November.  Ticket holders are being contacted and should contact venues for refunds.

"Although a well-loved show, Hitchhiker's Live has been subject to the same extreme economic pressures as many productions touring the UK this autumn. Ticket sales across the board have been lower than average and we have not escaped this trend. A difficult financial environment for such a large and technical show means that covering operating costs has become impossible. As a result in the last 24 hours we have had no option but make the extremely hard and painful decision to stop the tour.

"We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience this may cause and share the extreme disappointment and frustration felt by many who were looking forward to seeing the show. we sincerely hope that it can be brought back in the future."

While it makes the rumours that us in Belfast heard that the reason for not coming to Belfast was financial turn out to be true, even though 10 days later than being upfront would have been appreciated.

There is on the Facebook page a personal message from the star Simon Jones (Arthur Dent) and director Dirk Maggs:

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM SIMON JONES AND DIRK MAGGS

"With infinite regret, despite happy audiences and 5 star reviews, we have been forced to curtail this tour ahead of schedule due to economic adversity. Having worked so hard to put on a show worthy of Douglas Adams and his devoted fans, we are utterly devastated.

"It has been a pleasure to be a part of a company, band and crew who have become a close knit family. We know people hoping to see the show will be as horribly disappointed as we are, and offer our heartfelt apologies for any inconvenience this has caused."

 As well as the numerous fans who like me had found out that the show they had wanted to see was not longer an option, now of course the actors are also out of work.

As Mitch Benn (Zaphod Beeblebrox) tweeted:

 

with a follow up...

 

I'm hoping Mitch's home is a little more secure than that. If not he might be stealing a spaceship near you and going on the run.

Of course the tour was to go on until the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who and Doctor 6 was to have played the book next month. Here is what Colin Baker tweeted:

Sadly not even prayers to the Prophet Zarquon could turn this show into a success in the current situation. It is a rather sad day when top class touring productions cannot manage to reach the regions. We cannot allow top class theatre to end up only being shown in the West End, or maybe in the few major centres around the country.