Friday, 27 August 2010

Why Older Gents Find It Harder Coming Out

It must be something to do with me being here in Bangor, last time I was here briefly it was David Laws that came out today it is Crispin Blunt. There are differences between the two cases, the first had been with his partner for a number of years the second had been married and coming to terms with his sexuality has led to a split from his wife at the age of 50.

I've noticed some of the younger bloggers and tweeters don't seem to get that there was an issue with being out publicly even not that long ago. It is something that Iain Dale writes poignantly about here (and I don't think I can improve on) it also shows how near to the cusp of that sea change I myself am. Which when you add to the fact that I'm from Northern Ireland makes it all the more a step that I've been out for over a decade.

Of course there is no such thing as being totally out, there are the little outings that one can or decide not to make every day. It has been nine years since I lived here and to be honest it is like starting all over again with many people not knowing. Bearing in mind that only for the last 5 years in Scotland did the much stronger gay side of my bisexuality become a matter that impacted on people. It is of course five years that many of the people here didn't get to see much of me in. So I'm facing a lot of honesty on my part going forward of that I am sure.

Crispin Blunt has made that first step of being honest, possibly with himself, but especially with his family. That will be a bedrock that will help him going forward, much as it was for David Laws back in May. The fact is from here on in it is a fact. A fact of his life that he has finally acknowledged. It has nothing to do with libido* it is about the sexuality of the individual, and just as there are high and low libidos in heterosexuals the same goes for homosexuals.

However, one thing that does it easier for the older LGBT community in the public sphere (and I think the split comes somewhere in the 40s) to come out is the fact that the younger ones of us have come out to largely positive responses. As Kristofer Keane tweeted:

"the message that needs to be spread is if you've got anything to get off your chest, do it now, we'll all still love you."

* Shame on Fraser Nelson the Spectator editor.

1 comment:

  1. See his voting record on supporting Gay issues on the public whip.

    It makes him out, in my opinion, to be something of a hypocrite.