Tuesday, 17 August 2010

UKIP Leadership Election Rules In Full

Now that Lord Pearson of Rannoch has stepped down as leader of UKIP after less than a year in the post it seems appropriate to review their leadership election rule. Here are the new rules to ensure that someone who is in Lord Pearson's words "not much good at party politics" fills the post again.
  1. A returning officer shall be appointed.
  2. A deputy returning office shall be appointed.
  3. The returning officer shall withdraw to the corner of the room where he/she* shall have their his back to the leadership candidates
  4. The returning officer shall press play on the music device that is located in the corner.
  5. The deputy returning officer shall invite the leadership candidates to stand and walk around the room.
  6. The deputy returning officer shall remove one of the chairs that the leadership candidates were sitting on whilst they continue to walk around.
  7. The returning officer at a time of his choosing shall press stop or pause on the music device in the corner of the room.
  8. The leadership candidates shall attempt to sit on the chairs.
  9. The deputy returning officer shall eliminate the leadership candidate left standing once all chairs are occupied from the race.
  10. Repeat steps 4 to 9 until there is just one chair and one leadership candidate Mr Farage remaining.
  11. The remaining leadership candidate shall be asked to sign a pledge never to get in a plane trailing a banner on polling day.
  12. Once the above affidavit has been signed and witnessed by the Returning Officer and Deputy Returning Officer the signatory shall be invited to lead the party.

Let the party games begin.

* There are no women in UKIP are there?


  1. Very good...

    ...and of course, many a true word is spoken in jest!

  2. There is of course the Lib Dem way, wait until the leader gets blind drunk and falls off the chair!