Beware of the Depths.....Of your Biscuit Barrel

Just went you thought is was safe to reach for that biscuit, beware! Your choice of biscuit may have varying affects of your health.

Mindlab have undertaken a risk assessment on 15 types of popular tea break biscuits and come up with some findings. Dr David Lewis of Mindlab explains:

"We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits. Along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal."

I’m not sure which is worse the fact that Mindlab have come up with a Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation or that the makers of Rocky commissioned the survey and were not evaluated in the results. Are we going to have BITE con alerts not posted on the packaging along with the nutritional goodness indicators.

Mike Driver, Marketing Director for Rocky said:

"We commissioned this study after learning how many biscuit related injuries are treated by doctors each year."

So what sort of injuries have biscuit eaters encountered:

• people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit
• falling off a chair while reaching for the tin
• sustaining burns after dunking a biscuit in scalding tea
• being hitby fragments flying through the air
• choking on crumbs

• damaging a tooth or filling ona particularly hard biscuit

• one person ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit

Surely the last of these is not the fault of the poor innocent confection. However, I’m sure you’ll be wondering just what to avoid next time you head for the biscuit barrel.

According to Mindlab's calculations, here is the full list of the UK's riskiest biscuits, together with their 'danger' rating:

Custard Cream 5.64
Cookie 4.34
Chocolate Biscuit Bar 4.12
Wafer 3.74
Rich Tea 3.45
Bourbon 3.44
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Digestive 3.14
Ginger Nut 2.99
Shortbread 2.90
Caramel Shortcake 2.76

Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16

I’ll be watching the Custard Creams on the next desk out of the corner of my eye all day now. Why do we not have any Jaffa Cakes in?