Investment Opportunity: My post-Brexit Business Plan

Listening to Boris this morning I have come up with a business plan that will work with the comparability of Brexit with the congestion charge. It my own solution to the obvious issues of the Irish problem afterwards.

I shall set up four Boris Bike Hire Shops. A pair in Newry and Dundalk with the other pair in Derry and Muff. This will allow people to get the train from Belfast either North or South and get off at the station hire a bike and cycle across the border to avoid the congestion charge.

This will be a highly profitable outcome post Brexit and I need to get negotiations the two Foreign Secretaries in the International Trade Ministers soon to get the franchise.

Brexit is no Congestion Charge Boris

On the Today programme this morning Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson tried to compare being outside the EU with being part of different London Boroughs.

Firstly it was clear from his choice of boroughs Camden, Islington and Westminster that Boris has never lived south of the river and had to awkwardness of trying to get a black cab home. When drivers refuse to carry passengers "Sarf of the River". Although I did love the loophole I found of asking a driver to take me to Hampton Wick (North of the River) I could guarantee that the driver would come over Putney Bridge (to go south of the River) and head towards Kingston Bridge but I would ask to get out in Kingston near a taxi rank  to make it home.

Of course the connection Boris was making was about a frictionless congestion charge zone in a built up area to a border through often rural areas. Of course on that rural boundary it will not just be the vehicles crossing it that will need to be looked at but also what they are carrying. Boris after all is one of those advocating that when we leave the EU we also leave the customs union. So he is looking at a rural border where arms have been smuggled in the past as being controllable in the same way that London can read the number plates of every cars that has to go along a defined road in an urban environment.

Maybe Boris is looking at his other great enthusiasm the Olympics and will have a fleet of drones like at the PyeongChang opening ceremony patrolling the border to record every vehicle, person, cow and sheep that crosses the border between the roads.

Also while I joke about the Thames being a border in London in Belfast or Londonderry/Derry there are borders between communities. Belfast has its Peace Walls and the River Foyle is largely a divide with the West bank being predominantly Roman Catholic and nationalist and the East bank being largely Protestant and unionist. So Boris before you dare to compare London to the Irish situation look at a bit more history and present day rather just wiff waff on.

In conclusion to even attempt to compare the London Congestion Charge to Brexit is belittling the issues that the UK as a whole faces, but to seem to wipe out the Border issue in this way even more so. The fact that these comments came from the Foreign Secretary gives me no confidence that Britain's future post Brexit is in safe hands.

Boris Johnson hands St. Patrick's Day to Sinn Féin

Dear Boris,

I spent 7 St. Patrick's days in London.

On the first while in the Student Union I helped to set up Kingston University's Irish Society, which is still going strong 23 years later. On every single once of them apart from that one I was doing something Irish, sometimes in one of the centres of Irish population, but not necessarily. But always in London.

I was a member of London Irish and when I returned there after 1992 hoped to be able to represent them in Athletics though I never competed again. I also took part in Gaelic Football when I was there as a local team in Kingston was looking for players, so I merely transposed by football and rugby skills to a different sport for a couple of years.

Therefore to condemn all the London Irish who attend a gala dinner on St. Patricks day as part of Sinn Féin and the event as being "lefty crap", and the people being "lazy and stupid" is offensive and racist. You wouldn't call all the London Scots who attended a Burns Supper last month as being members of the SNP, nor call them tight and drunkards. But then knowing your record of stupid sayings offending cities, peoples and nations maybe you would.

Yours a proud Liberal Democrat, former London Irish man, whose eyes are more on Rome than Paris this afternoon and that for the rugby and not the Pontiff.

Frisbee Gains Status Better Than Wiff Waff

Boris Johnson (in)famously declared that Wiff Waff (aka Ping Pong or table tennis) was coming home to the London 2012 Olympics, while in Beijing 2 years ago.



Well as today he announced he was standing again for Mayor, in the hope of being on hand to welcome 'Ping Pong' home to the dinning tables of England [sic]. He may well have inadvertently announced a new sport. If we can get the IOC to ratify it even better. He said:

"I have more chance of being decapitated by a Frisbee [than becoming Prime Minister."

The frisbee flingers in Regents or Hyde Park or anywhere else in London now have a reason to practice. I mean what more noble cause than to lead to the election of the first headless Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

Write to the IOC today and ask that Frisbee Decapitation of Boris gets full recognition, you know it makes sense.

Can We Form a Coalition with the Mayor?

I know that Jae Kay has had a few things recently to say about our party's public statements on Equal Marriage, here's hoping for an official federal policy position to be taken on this soon. I totally agree that allowing civil partnerships in religious places is just a muddle. For a start the only religious places liable to carry out such ceremonies are those that want to allow same-sex marriage anyway.

It makes me sad when I hear comments, like I heard earlier in the week, from fellow Christians that they merely respect the right of same sex couples to have a civil partnership, but not to allow them a marriage, also denying them the right to a choice between a religious or civil ceremony depending on their choice. They often claim that their religious organisation doesn't allow it, yet they are also ruling out the possibility that other religious organisations may be in favour and wanting to offer it. Yet we maintain a blanket ban rather than liberating the rules on what can be.

Therefore I think us Liberal Democrats who believe in equal marraige should breakaway from a coaltion with David Cameron and insist that Boris Johnson is installed at number 10. Why? Well at today's London Pride the following exchange happened on the platform at the start:

Peter Tatchell: David and Sam Cameron can Marry – Gays Can’t. End the Ban on Gay Marriage.

BoJo: If we can have a coalition between Tories and Lib Dems, why can't we have gay marriage?

PT: There you are – the mayor supports gay marriage.

So Boris is offering us a coalition that supports equality in marriage.

Mayoral Junta Against Peaceful Protest

The front cover of today's Independent tells a sombre tale.

The top half shows the Queen making her speech in the Lords including the words:

"Legislation will be brought forward to restore freedoms and civil liberties, through the abolition of Identity Cards and repeal of unnecessary laws."

The bottom have shows Brian Haw being arrested earlier just outside in Parliament Square.

It brings up the dichotomy of what was being said inside by a Conservative/Lib Dem government and what was being done outside under the auspices on a Conservative Mayor of London (whose brother is now part of that Conservative group inside).

A Mayoral degree has come from the gherkin to remove protesters from Parliament Square. Where are we? China, Pyongyang, or London? They are not protesting outside the Gherkin but the Palaces of Westminster. There are being peaceful about it yet the full weight of a junta from down river has come to bear on the only piece of open ground near the seat of power where a protest can be made.

Obviously either Boris didn't get the memo, or decided to ignore it in his own power games after finding he is no longer the most powerful Tory in the capital never mind the country.

Boris Helios Johnson Sun God to the Powerful

Yes you've heard it all now. Boris Johnson claims to be the Sun God when the twit* Tweeted this.

Whether Boris aims to emulate Ra, Helios, Apollo or maybe even Louis XIV of France. Just don't let Boris try and take credit for the GB Cycling Team's recent successes as well.

Personally I hope if rains before the end of the G20 conference so Boris will have to find a head to roll.

*Derogatory not Twitter use of the word.

No Lock for Boris's Bike Then as Well

You'd have thought the floppy haired Mayor of London would have learnt from the woes of his glorious leader last summer at least just a little when implementing his bike hire scheme. You'd also think that Boris Johnson avid bike rider would also have looked at the examples of the other city schemes such as Paris's Vélib. But no Boris is forgetting one thing the lock.

He thinks not having a lock will make people return the bikes they hire quicker to one of the 300-400 docking stations that will be available dotted around zone 1. But what is one needs to purchase a bottle of water, or snatch a paper all quick little dashes into a shop, all quite normal behaviour for cyclists, only to come out to find the bike gone an have to lose the whole £150 deposit.

Transport for London say providing locks will spoil the aesthetic of London.

Jenny Jones, a Green Party member of the London Assembly, said:

"Commuters and tourists will want the flexibility that a bike brings, and not
providing locks defies common sense. Part of the joy of cycling is the ability
to stop off where you want, nip into a shop, have a quick coffee and do all
those little things along your route that are more awkward when travelling by
bus, Tube or cab. The people setting up this scheme simply do not understand
cycling."

The London Cycling Campaign added:

"The lack of a lock may discourage potential riders, so TfL will need to make
sure there are sufficient convenient docking stations."

Come on Boris don't be silly. You know a lock makes sense to this scheme. Or we'll take your lock away from your bike.

Boris the Looter

So Boris has been Boris-like and it's now caught up with him. Indeed the quote from Boris shows that well he is still Boris.

In case you have missed it not since Pete Burn's gorilla fur coat was remanding in custody during celebrity big brother has an inanimate object raised so much police attention and headline. Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, was until yesterday in possession of Tariq Aziz's cigar case.

Boris claimed the circumstances of how the then Spectator Editor came to have possession of this Iraqi cultural property as so "morally ambiguous that [he] cannot quite think of it as theft", then hangs himself by his own petard with this quote.

"As I stared at the remains of his home, I saw utter destruction - surely the looters had left nothing of value?"

"And there, just by my toe, protruding from beneath a piece of dusty plywood, was the cigar case. Actually, it was only the bottom half of a cigar case, in thick red leather and coarsely stitched.

"But I immediately saw its importance. If this was the cigar case of Tariq Aziz, think of the scenes it had witnessed."

I'm sorry Boris the fact that the looters didn't take it doesn't make it therefore yours to take and possess for 5 years. In fact by so doing aren't you just a looter yourself? Admittedly a rather posh one with foppish hair and a media/political career but a looter none the less. Also if as you said you immediately saw it's importance why didn't you hand it over to the appropriate authority in 2003 rather than wait until 2008?

However Boris should be thankful that Saddam is no longer in charge in Iraq the penalty for looting there in his time was the death penalty. Even under the Iraq (UN Sanctions) Order 2003 it clearly shows him to be in the wrong. For Dick Whittington the streets of London were paved with gold for the current Mayor of London Baghdad was paved with cigar boxes.

Just Who Did Edit the Spectator Boris?

Intrigue over at conservativehome where they have a letter from the former MP for Henley, now Mayor of London complaining about the latest Lib Dem leaflet. Now let me try and think back a few years to what that mans previous job was. Oh yeah that's right he was paid to be editor of The Spectator.

Now anyone who is a editor would know the difference between a by-line and a quote attribution you would think. Well according to this letter not the former editor of the spectator. You can see the page in full by following the links and explain something to the Mayor of London, or whoever it may be masquerading as the former respected magazine editor, writer of that letter.

Next to the picture of Boris are open and closed quotation marks and a quote from him. This is quite properly attributed to the man who said those word, that's Boris Johnson.

There are two articles on the same page. In the opening paragraph of each there is a comment that The View's opinion is being expressed. It is not the opinion of Boris Johnson he is only attributed with the 19 word in the top left hand column. Actually haven't I seen the sort of thing used in articles in The Spectator and other publications. A piece is written and a quote is placed somewhere with a picture of the speaker of that quote. It can be from the piece or a prelude to the piece or just a snappy page filler at times.

Now how Boris thinks that the people of Henley will "taken in by ...deceit" from Campaign View, which doesn't masquerade "as some sort of independent Oxfordshire magazine" I can clearly see a perfectly valid election imprint on the page he takes exception to. Just what is Boris saying about the people who returned them to Westminster? That they are savvy to the ways of electioneering? That they are easily things or people who masquerade to be things that they're not? (On a side note has Boris removed the more sensible suit he campaigned for London in yet)

As for sinking to low depths that's going a bit far Boris. Every single Labour controlled by-election I know starts with a booklet obituary/tribute to the deceased MP, and some of the things I saw and read while living in Kingston in the run up to Ed Davey wresting that seat off the Tories were pretty below the belt too. If your going to use hyperbole Boris don't leave kettles of a midnight hue near any loud mouthed pots.

First Liverpool, Then Scotland, Next...

Boris Johnson is at it again. First he insulted the people of a city Liverpool, now he is taking on a country, Scotland.

While his leader Dave Cameron is tring to revive the position of his party north of the border, Boris has stampeded in with a bulldozer that is likely to scupper Scottish Conservatives' slim hope of any breakthroughs next may. Boris Signled out two Lib Dem policies when he spoke at a fringe meeting.

"The Scots should not get free university education subsidised by us in England. They shouldn't get free nursing care."

The thing is Boris the people of Scotland are turning in droves to the party that came up with these policies and away from the party that governed Scotland disastorously through the 80s. Something that Dave had to apologise for recently.

Also Boris despite the fact that the Scottish Parliament has the power to increase taxes, it has yet to do so to meet these obligations and instead is just being prudent with the pursestrings and is providing public services. Considering the Tories actually cut health spending in their last year in government I'd be careful what you bring to the fore Boris.

As for a Scot not being good enough to be Prime Minister the Earl Home and the Earl of Aberdeen must be turning in their graves.