An anonymous email from inside Stamford Bridge has come to this blogger's attention. I have printed it below for the public good.
To: All users @chelseafc.com
Subject: Blue is the colour
Anyone telling the press will be sent to Chukotka
I was recently looking for pictures in Chelsea colours to decorate the executive board room, and I paid a few roubles on this one attached. So I started looking into the painter, da. He was Andrej Ondrejovich Varhola, but he had a very interesting thought that I think we can bring into the club structure.
He said that everyone will one day have their 15 minutes of fame, then I realised we at Chelsea can help 8 such people have that fame on match days. Every manager shall have their 15 minutes in charge of the mighty Chelsea. три in the first half, один to give the half time team talk и три for the second half. Another will have his chance in the post match interview.
Think of the speculation that we will gain each week in the papers, not just who the starting 11 will be but which 8 managers we will be employing that week. Each one will have a set contract of only 15 minutes so we can save a lot of money on buying out their contracts like we are at the moment. And even if I decide to let them go after only 2 minutes the cost of buying out the other 13 minutes will not drain my Swiss bank account of roubles.
Is Benitez still there at the training ground? If so, we need to give him his marching orders and hire the eight managers we need for the weekend match.